1
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,598
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSlC)

2
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:56,097
CHER: Okay, you're probably going,
"Is this a Noxzema commercial or what?"

3
00:00:56,306 --> 00:01:00,810
But seriously, I actually have
a way normal life for a teenage girl.

4
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:05,314
I get up, I brush my teeth,
and I pick out my school clothes.

5
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,650
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG)

6
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:28,045
CHER: Daddy's a litigator.
Those are the scariest kinds of lawyers.

7
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,965
-Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him.
-(LUCY EXCLAlMlNG FRANTlCALLY)

8
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,969
And Daddy's so good, he gets
$500 an hour to fight with people.

9
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,346
He fights with me for free
because I'm his daughter.

10
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,931
-Daddy.
-Cher, please don't start

11
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,517
-with the juice again.
-Daddy, you need your vitamin C.

12
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,643
Where's my briefcase?

13
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,688
lt's been a couple of months now,
so l said we'd go out to Malibu.

14
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,900
Don't tell me those brain-dead lowlifes
have been calling again.

15
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:52,153
They are your parents.
And don't try sneaking out of the office.

16
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,405
Dr. Lovett's coming by
to give you a flu shot.

17
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,491
Josh is in town, he's coming for dinner.

18
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,576
-Why?
-He's your stepbrother.

19
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:01,954
You were hardly even married to
his mother and that was five years ago.

20
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,875
-Why do l have to see Josh?
-You divorce wives, not children.

21
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,794
-Here.
-Forget it!

22
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,214
CHER: Did l showyou
the loqued-out jeep Daddy got me?

23
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:16,052
It's got four-wheel drive, dual side
airbags, and a monster sound system.

24
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I don't have a license yet,
but I needed something to learn on.

25
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Boy, they came out of nowhere.

26
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,521
Here's where Dionne lives.

27
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She's my friend because we both know
what it's like

28
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to have people be jealous of us.

29
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:31,609
Dude!

30
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,361
Girlfriend!

31
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,781
CHER: And I must give her snaps
for her courageous fashion efforts.

32
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,990
Hey, Cher.

33
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,118
CHER: Dionne and l were both named
after great singers of the past

34
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,162
who now do infomercials.

35
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So?

36
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,124
Go shopping with Dr. Seuss?

37
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,752
At least l wouldn't skin a collie
to make my backpack.

38
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,128
CHER: lt's faux.

39
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,049
-Hello! That was a stop sign.
-l totally paused.

40
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Yeah. Okay.

41
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:03,099
DlONNE: lt's not even 8:30
and Murray is paging me.

42
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,976
-He is so possessive.
-Tell me about it.

43
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,436
This weekend he called me
and he's all, "Where were you?"

44
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,729
l'm like, "l'm at my grandmother's..."

45
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:12,108
CHER: Dionne and her boyfriend Murray
are in this dramatic relationship.

46
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,652
I think they've seen
that Ike and Tina Turner movie

47
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,696
just too many times.

48
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,531
Now I have to say to her...

49
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,367
De, why do you put up with it?
You could do so much better.

50
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,910
l know. Shh. Here he comes.

51
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,082
Woman, why don't you be answering
any of my pages?

52
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,751
-l hate when you call me "woman."
-Where you been all weekend?

53
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,503
-You jeeping behind my back?
-Jeeping?

54
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,589
Jeeping. Know what l'm saying?

55
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,591
No, but speaking of vehicular sex

56
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,635
perhaps you can explain
how this cheap K-Mart hair extension

57
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,972
-got into the back seat of your car.
-l don't know where that came from.

58
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,225
That looks like one of your little stringy
things you got up in your hair.

59
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,185
l do not wear polyester hair, okay?

60
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,938
Unlike some people l know,
like Shawana.

61
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,565
-De, l'm Audi.
-Bye.

62
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,234
-Why do you gotta go there?
-That's it! l've had it with you!

63
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:57,695
-ls it that time of the month again?
-(ALL GASP)

64
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,865
CHER: l don't know why Dionne's
going out with a high-school boy.

65
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,199
They're like dogs.

66
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,160
You have to clean them
and feed them and...

67
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,162
They're just like
these nervous creatures

68
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,372
that jump and slobber all over you.

69
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,541
Ew! Get off of me.

70
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,752
Ugh! As if!

71
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:18,049
Should all oppressed people
be allowed refuge in America?

72
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,303
Amber will take the con position.
Cher will be pro.

73
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,680
Cher, two minutes.

74
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,724
So, okay.

75
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:31,520
Like right now, for example, the Haitians
need to come to America.

76
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:35,650
But some people are all, "What about
the strain on our resources?"

77
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:39,737
But it's like, when l had this garden
party for my father's birthday, right?

78
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,615
l said RSVP
because it was a sit-down dinner.

79
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But people came that, like, did not
RSVP. So, l was like totally bugging.

80
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,248
l had to haul ass to the kitchen,
redistribute the food,

81
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,167
squish in extra place settings,

82
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:56,504
but by the end of the day
it was, like, the more the merrier.

83
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:59,382
And so, if the government could just
get to the kitchen,

84
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:03,302
rearrange some things, we could
certainly party with the Haitians.

85
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,805
And in conclusion,
may l please remind you

86
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:09,976
that it does not say "RSVP"
on the Statue of Liberty.

87
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,980
Thank you very much.

88
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,065
(SHRlEKS EXClTEDLY)

89
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,946
Amber, a reply?

90
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,323
Mr. Hall, how can l answer that?

91
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:28,327
The topic is Haiti
and she's talking about some little party.

92
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,664
Hello! lt was his 50th birthday.

93
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:36,460
Whatever. lf she doesn't
do the assignment, l can't do mine.

94
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,004
Ladies.

95
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,966
So, does anyone have
any further thoughts on Cher's oration?

96
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,592
Elton, comments?

97
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,554
Yeah, l can't find my Cranberries CD.
l gotta go to the Quad

98
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,890
-before somebody snags it.
-l'm afraid l can't permit that.

99
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,977
-Any further insights?
-l had an insight, Mr. Hall.

100
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,520
l'm all ears.

101
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:58,274
Okay. Like, the way l feel
about the Rolling Stones

102
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,819
is the way my kids are gonna feel
about Nine lnch Nails,

103
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,196
so l really shouldn't torment my mum
anymore, huh?

104
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:08,159
Yes. Well, it's a little off the subject
of Haiti

105
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:11,078
but tolerance is always a good lesson.

106
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:14,248
-Thank you.
-Even when it comes out of nowhere.

107
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,878
And with that in mind,
l'm going to distribute your report cards.

108
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:22,006
Now, is there a Christian Stovitz
in this class?

109
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:26,052
Mr. Hall, the buzz on Christian is
that his parents have joint custody,

110
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:29,638
so he'll be spending one semester
in Chicago and one semester here.

111
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:33,059
l think it is a travesty
on the part of the legal profession.

112
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,394
Thank you for that perspective, Cher.

113
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,648
(SOBBlNG)

114
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,904
Now, could all conversations
please come to a halt?

115
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,076
And could the suicide attempts

116
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,995
please be postponed
till the next period?

117
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,501
CHER: Suddenly, a dark cloud
settled over first period.

118
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,795
I got a C in Debate?

119
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:03,881
CHER: De?
DlONNE: What's up?

120
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:07,301
-Did you get your report card?
-Yeah. I'm toast. How did you do?

121
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,888
l totally choked.
My father is gonna go ballistic on me.

122
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,890
Mr. Hall was way harsh.

123
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He gave me a C-.

124
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,896
He gave me a C,
which drags down my entire average.

125
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,564
-Bye.
-l'll call you, okay?

126
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,649
Yeah.

127
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,818
CHER: Isn't my house classic?

128
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,904
The columns date
all the way back to 1972.

129
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,826
Wasn't my mum a Betty?
She died when I was just a baby,

130
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:34,703
a fluke accident
during a routine liposuction.

131
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,332
I don't remember her, but I like
to pretend she still watches over me.

132
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,710
Ma, 98 in Geometry. Pretty groovy, huh?

133
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,296
(SAD MUSlC PLAYlNG ON THE RADlO)

134
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,464
CHER: Yuck.

135
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,510
The maudlin music
of the university station?

136
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,220
(lMlTATES CRYlNG)

137
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:53,764
(SAD MUSlC PLAYlNG ON THE RADlO)

138
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,559
What is it about college
and crybaby music?

139
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:00,604
Who's watching the galleria?

140
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,273
So, the flannel shirt deal,

141
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,316
is that a nod
to the crispy Seattle weather

142
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:07,361
or you trying to stay warm
in front of the refrigerator?

143
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,780
Oh, my, you're filling out there.

144
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,783
Wow. Your face is catching up
with your mouth.

145
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,119
-l went by Dad's office.
-He is not your dad.

146
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,954
Why don't you torture a new family?

147
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,747
Just because my mother
married someone else

148
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,249
doesn't mean he's my father.

149
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,543
Actually, Kato,
that's exactly what it means.

150
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,795
l hope you're not thinking
of staying here.

151
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,630
-l sure want to.
-l'm sure you do.

152
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,966
l got a place in Westwood near school.

153
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,968
Shouldn't you go to school
on the East Coast?

154
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,096
l hear girls at NYU
aren't at all particular.

155
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,806
You're funny.

156
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,474
What's your problem, Beavis?

157
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,935
NEWSCASTER: ...infantry furiously
trading machine gun fire.

158
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,771
You just got here and already
you're playing Couch Commando.

159
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,941
ln some parts of the universe,
maybe not in Contempo Casual

160
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,820
but in some parts, it's considered cool
to know what's going on in the world.

161
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:53,240
Thank you, Josh. l so need lessons
from you on how to be cool.

162
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,993
Tell me that part about Kenny G again.

163
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,954
MEL: Come on, you chuckleheads,
get in here.

164
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,793
Josh, are you still growing?
You look taller than you did at Easter.

165
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,295
l don't think so.

166
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,048
-Doesn't he look bigger?
-His head does.

167
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,967
Josh, have you given any thought
to our little discussion

168
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,135
about corporate law?

169
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,388
Yeah, but l think l'd really like to
check out environmental law.

170
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,642
What for? You want to have
a miserable, frustrating life?

171
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,061
Josh will have that
no matter what he does.

172
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,146
At least he knows what he wants to do

173
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:28,150
and he's in a good college. l'd like
to see you have a little bit of direction.

174
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,070
-l have direction.
-Yeah. Towards the mall.

175
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,280
MEL: Which reminds me,
where's your report card?

176
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,824
-lt's not ready yet.
-What do you mean, it's not ready yet?

177
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,661
Well, some teachers
were trying to lowball me, Daddy.

178
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:41,163
And l know how you say
never accept a first offer,

179
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:45,167
so l figure these grades are just
a jumping off point to start negotiations.

180
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,585
Very good.

181
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:47,962
-(PHONE RlNGlNG)
-Whose is that?

182
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,171
De?

183
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,257
Hello? Yeah, Jake, what?

184
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:52,883
No, not the afternoon!

185
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,385
You are such a brownnoser.

186
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,221
And you are
such a superficial space cadet.

187
00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:00,182
What makes you think you'll get
teachers to change your grades?

188
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,644
Only the fact that l've done it
every other semester.

189
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,817
CHER: I told my P.E. teacher
an evil male had broken my heart,

190
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,361
so she raised my C to a B.

191
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,612
-Miserable.
-They're horrible.

192
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,698
-l can't eat, l can't sleep.
-Don't feel bad. l know.

193
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,491
And you see, they're all like that.

194
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:21,537
CHER: Then I promised Miss Geist
I'd start a letter-writing campaign

195
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,331
to my congressman
about violations of the Clean Air Act.

196
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,460
But Mr. Hall was totally rigid.

197
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,379
He said my debates
were unresearched,

198
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,506
unstructured, and unconvincing.

199
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,466
As if!

200
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,806
I felt impotent and out of control,
which I really hate.

201
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,643
I needed to find sanctuary in a place
where I could gather my thoughts

202
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,645
and regain my strength.

203
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,606
(SWEEPlNG lNSTRUMENTAL MUSlC)

204
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,486
Dude, what's wrong?

205
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,905
Are you suffering
from buyer's remorse or something?

206
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,241
God, no, nothing like that. lt's just that

207
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:03,078
we've been shopping all day and l still
don't know what to do about Mr. Hall.

208
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,081
l tried everything to convince him
of my scholastic aptitude

209
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,833
but l was brutally rebuffed.

210
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,753
Get over it. He's a miserable little man
who wants to make

211
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,755
everyone else miserable, too.

212
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,340
De, that's it.

213
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:18,344
We've got to figure out a way
to make Mr. Hall sublimely happy.

214
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,847
CHER: Here's the 41 1 on Mr. Hall.

215
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:26,602
He's single, he's 47, and he earns
minor ducats at a thankless job.

216
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,439
What that man needs
is a good, healthy boink fest.

217
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:34,526
Unfortunately, there was
a major babe drought in my school.

218
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:38,447
The evil trolls from the
Math Department were actually married.

219
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:40,949
Snickers.

220
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,119
And in the grand tradition
of P.E. teachers

221
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,122
Miss Stoeger seemed to
be same-sex oriented.

222
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,251
Of course,
there was always Miss Geist.

223
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:54,463
Something told me not to discount
Miss Geist.

224
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:01,720
Sure, she has runs in her stockings
and her slip is always showing

225
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:04,390
and she has more lipstick on her teeth
than on her mouth.

226
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,643
Popular uprisings from Estates
to the general assembly.

227
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,729
CHER: God, this woman is screaming
for a makeover.

228
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,272
I'm her only hope.

229
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,820
DlONNE: "Rough winds do shake
the darling buds of May

230
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,572
"But thy eternal summer shall not fade"

231
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,324
Phat! Did you write that?

232
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,160
-Duh! lt's like a famous quote.
-From where?

233
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,787
Cliffs Notes.

234
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,665
l know you're going to be
doing better, Travis.

235
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,751
No, if you run along,
l'll see you third period.

236
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,004
And we'll try to remember to bring
our textbooks.

237
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:37,673
TRAVlS: Okay.

238
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,865
My God, she actually looked happy!

239
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,199
Classic.

240
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:07,453
-Paroudasm Banafshein.
-Here.

241
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,663
Sixteen tardies to work off.

242
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,999
(CURSlNG lN FORElGN LANGUAGE)

243
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,502
Janet Hong, no tardies.

244
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:21,133
Travis Birkenstock, 38 tardies.
By far the most tardies in the class.

245
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,968
Congratulations.

246
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,226
This is so unexpected,
l didn't even have a speech prepared.

247
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,978
But l would like to say this,

248
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,064
tardiness is not something you can do
all on your own.

249
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,817
Many people
contributed to my tardiness.

250
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,987
l'd like to thank my parents
for never giving me a ride to school.

251
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:45,657
The LA City bus drivers for taking
a chance on an unknown kid.

252
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,911
And last, but not least,
the wonderful crew at McDonald's

253
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,413
for spending hours
making those Egg McMuffins

254
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,707
without which l might never be tardy.

255
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:01,006
lf Mr. Birkenstock
has no political messages

256
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,258
to include in his speech, l'll go on.

257
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,844
Cher Horowitz, two tardies.

258
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,095
CHER: l object.

259
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,598
Do you recall the dates
of these alleged tardies?

260
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,517
One was last Monday.

261
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,686
Mr. Hall,
l was surfing the crimson wave.

262
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,688
l had to haul ass to the ladies'.

263
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:21,193
l assume you're referring to women's
troubles and so l'll let that one slide.

264
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,696
Thank you, Mr. Hall.
Miss Geist was right about you.

265
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,949
What do you mean?

266
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:31,370
She said that you were the only one
in the school with any intelligence.

267
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,628
Cher, get in here.

268
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,463
Yes, Daddy?

269
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,966
Would you tell me what the hell this is?

270
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,261
A second notice
for three outstanding tickets.

271
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,389
l don't remember getting a first notice.

272
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,974
The ticket is the first notice.

273
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,643
l didn't even know you can get tickets
without a license.

274
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,645
Sure you can.
You can get tickets anytime.

275
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,981
ls that so? Not around here, you can't.

276
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:02,109
From this moment on,
you will not drive, sit,

277
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,821
do anything in that jeep
without a supervised driver present.

278
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,656
No cruising around with Dionne,
all right?

279
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:11,493
Two permits do not equal a license.
Do l make myself clear?

280
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,911
Yes, Daddy.

281
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:16,415
l expect you to become a good driver.
l wanna see you apply yourself.

282
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,960
-l will. l'm gonna practice real hard.
-Okay.

283
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:26,508
CHER: A licensed driver with nothing
to do? Where would I find such a loser?

284
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,512
Granola breath,
you got something on your chin.

285
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,431
-l'm growing a goatee.
-That's good.

286
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,726
You don't wanna be the last one
at the coffee house without chin pubes.

287
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,520
l can't tell you how much l enjoy
these little chats of ours

288
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:42,274
but in the interest of saving time,
why don't you tell me what you want?

289
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,483
Okay.

290
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,528
So, actually

291
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,655
l have a permit and l can drive and all

292
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,992
but Daddy says l can't take the jeep out
without a licensed driver.

293
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,994
And since you're not doing
anything and all...

294
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:57,331
What are the chances of you
shutting up till you get your way?

295
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,499
Slim to none. Come on!

296
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:05,714
James Bond, in America we drive
on the right side of the road.

297
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,300
l am. You try driving in platforms.

298
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:12,220
l got to get back to school.
Wanna practice parking?

299
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,557
What's the point?
Everywhere you go has valet.

300
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,309
What class are you going to?

301
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,020
Actually, l'm going
to a tree people meeting.

302
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,231
We might get Marky Mark to plant
a celebrity tree.

303
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,775
How fabulous.

304
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,779
Getting Marky Mark to take time from
his busy pants-dropping schedule

305
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,280
to plant trees?

306
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,199
Josh, why don't you
just hire a gardener?

307
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:36,203
Well, maybe Marky Mark wants to use
his popularity for a good cause.

308
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,080
Make a contribution.

309
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,166
ln case you've never heard of that,
a contribution is the giving of...

310
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,836
Excuse me, but l have donated
many expensive ltalian outfits to Lucy.

311
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,046
...time and funds.

312
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,675
And, as soon as l get my license,
l fully intend to brake for animals.

313
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:54,262
And l've contributed many hours helping
two lonely teachers find romance.

314
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,391
Which, l'll bet, serves your interests
more than theirs.

315
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:01,853
lf l ever saw you do anything
that wasn't 90% selfish, l'd die of shock.

316
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,314
That'd be reason enough for me.

317
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,531
-Would you call me selfish?
-No, not to your face.

318
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:13,949
Really?

319
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,368
ls Josh giving you shit
'cause he's going through

320
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,370
his post-adolescent idealistic phase?

321
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,330
Look, there's Mr. Hall.

322
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:21,748
Mr. Hall.

323
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,959
Do you drink coffee?

324
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,169
Not from this cafeteria.

325
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,714
But, yes, under normal circumstances.

326
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:32,175
l am such a retard. When l was packing
Daddy's lunch this morning

327
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:36,263
l gave him my lemon Snapple
and l took his sucky ltalian roast.

328
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,390
-Do you want it?
-DlONNE: Mmm.

329
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,143
-Are you sure you don't want it?
-lt might stunt my growth.

330
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,603
And l wanna be 5'1 0"
like Cindy Crawford.

331
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,106
l thought maybe you
or Miss Geist might like it.

332
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,150
Maybe you could share it.

333
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,653
-Thanks.
-Sure.

334
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,159
-BOTH: Miss Geist.
-Hi, girls.

335
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,744
Did you sign up
for the environmental fair?

336
00:17:58,828 --> 00:17:59,953
Yeah, we will.

337
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,830
You have such pretty eyes.
Don't hide them.

338
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,957
-These clips are so cute.
-This top is so '80s.

339
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,834
And this tiny little waist.

340
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,087
-Girls.
-You are so sweet.

341
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,384
Don't forget to sign up
for the environmental fair.

342
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,762
Not a total Betty,
but a vast improvement.

343
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,138
We did our best.

344
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:21,057
We gotta book
if we're gonna make it to P.E.

345
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,517
CHER: Come on, De.

346
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,519
l feel like bailing, dude. Come on.

347
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,190
l know what you mean, but at least
it's exercise. l feel like such a heifer.

348
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,485
l had two bowls of Special K,
three pieces of turkey bacon,

349
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,863
a handful of popcorn,
five peanut butter MandM's

350
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,783
-and like three pieces of licorice.
-(GASPS) My God. Look.

351
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:40,285
ls that a photo op or what?

352
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,953
(lNDlSTlNCT)

353
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,372
CHER: Would you look
at that body language?

354
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:48,460
Legs crossed toward each other.
That's an unequivocal sex invite.

355
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:56,218
-Cher, he's getting her digits.
-Look at Geist. She's so cute.

356
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,806
Old people can be so sweet.

357
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,935
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

358
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,469
(lNDlSTlNCT)

359
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,935
CHER: The entire student body was
utterly grateful for the improvement

360
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,603
in their grades.

361
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,748
-Cher, what's this all about?
-My report card.

362
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,917
-The same semester?
-Uh-huh.

363
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,837
What'd you do,
turn in some extra-credit reports?

364
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,046
No.

365
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,549
-Did you take the midterms over?
-Uh-uh.

366
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:22,220
You mean to tell me
that you argued your way

367
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:24,890
from a C  to an A-?

368
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,101
Totally based on my
powers of persuasion. Are you proud?

369
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:32,355
Honey, l couldn't be happier
than if they were based on real grades.

370
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,734
-Fabulous.
-Thank you.

371
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,782
CHER: l felt so satisfied,
I wanted to do more good deeds.

372
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,911
(SNEEZES)

373
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:49,539
De, when your allergies act up,
take out your nose ring.

374
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,292
Follow through. There you go.

375
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,211
All right, Cher.

376
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,131
Earth to Cher! Come in, Cher!

377
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,008
(LAUGHlNG) Oh!

378
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,969
Miss Stoeger.

379
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:08,183
l would just like to say that physical
education in this school is a disgrace.

380
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:13,021
l mean, standing in line for 40 minutes
is hardly aerobically effective.

381
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:16,608
l doubt l worked off the calories
in a stick of Carefree gum.

382
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,276
(GlRLS WHOOPlNG)

383
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:23,031
Well, you certainly exercised
your mouth, Cher. Now hit the ball.

384
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:28,787
Miss Stoeger, that machine is just
a lawsuit waiting to happen!

385
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,997
Thanks for the legal advice.

386
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,540
Dionne, you're up.

387
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,418
Miss Stoeger, l have a note
from my tennis instructor

388
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:38,630
and he would prefer it
if l didn't expose myself to any training

389
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,715
that might derail his teachings.

390
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,509
Fine. Amber?

391
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,428
Miss Stoeger, my plastic surgeon
doesn't want me doing

392
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:48,473
any activity where balls fly at my nose.

393
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,476
Well, there goes your social life.

394
00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,187
Miss Stoeger.

395
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:56,272
Got another one.

396
00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:00,694
Ladies, we have a new student with us.
This is Tai Fraiser.

397
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:07,450
Tai, you don't have time to change, but
you can hit a few balls in those clothes.

398
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:10,245
She could be a farmer in those clothes.

399
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:12,664
STOEGER: All right, Amber,
that's enough.

400
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,666
De, my mission is clear.

401
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:18,294
Would you look at that girl?
She is so adorably clueless.

402
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:21,506
-We've got to adopt her.
-DlONNE: Cher, she is tore up.

403
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,717
Our stock would plummet.

404
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:27,137
De, don't you want to use
your popularity for a good cause?

405
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:28,805
-No.
-Come here.

406
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,432
Yeah, come here.

407
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,892
-Hang with us.
-Thank you.

408
00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:36,563
-How do you like California?
-Man, l'm freaking.

409
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:40,316
l could really use some sort of
an herbal refreshment.

410
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:43,445
We do lunch in 1 0 minutes.
We don't have any tea

411
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:46,406
-but we have Coke and stuff.
-No shit! You guys got coke here?

412
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,575
-Yeah.
-Yeah, this is America.

413
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:54,247
CHER: So we decided to show Tai
the ropes at Bronson Alcott High School.

414
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:58,334
CHER: That is Alana's group over there.
They do the TV station.

415
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,879
They think
that's the most important thing on earth.

416
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,505
And that's the Persian Mafia.

417
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:05,216
You can't hang with them
unless you own a BMW.

418
00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,052
And there's Elton in the white vest.

419
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,971
And all the most popular boys
in the school.

420
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:12,766
-lncluding my boyfriend. Ain't he cute?
-Yeah.

421
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:15,185
lf you make the decision
to date a high-school boy

422
00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:16,770
they're the only acceptable ones.

423
00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:18,521
Cher, which one of them's
your boyfriend?

424
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:19,731
As if!

425
00:23:19,815 --> 00:23:21,941
Cher's got attitude
about high-school boys.

426
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:25,487
lt's a personal choice every woman
has got to make for herself.

427
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:27,906
Woman, lend me $5.

428
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,409
Murray, l've asked you repeatedly
not to call me "woman."

429
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:33,078
-Excuse me, Miss Dionne.
-Thank you.

430
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:35,872
Street slang is an increasingly
valid form of expression.

431
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,208
Most of the feminine pronouns
do have mocking

432
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:40,794
but not necessarily
misogynistic undertones.

433
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:42,962
Wow!

434
00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:45,048
You guys talk like grownups.

435
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,634
Well, this is a really good school.

436
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:49,969
l'm gonna go get a soda.
You guys want?

437
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:51,846
-Yeah, sure.
-All right.

438
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,140
She's nice.

439
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:55,850
Project.

440
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:05,693
Oh, wow!

441
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,487
That's disgusting.

442
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:10,490
That's nice representation there.

443
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,576
Thanks. Those are really nice stickers.

444
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:16,371
You like them?
l was thinking it was too cluttered.

445
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,331
l wanna wipe all this out
and concentrate

446
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:22,001
on one main decorative statement,
like Marvin the Martian right there.

447
00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:24,629
Get out of town!
l can do Marvin the Martian.

448
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:25,880
Really?

449
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:28,883
l mean,
there's not really a lot to him, but

450
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:30,677
-you wanna see?
-Yeah.

451
00:24:30,761 --> 00:24:31,845
Here.

452
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:34,305
-Wow. That's really cool.
-Thanks.

453
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:37,517
-You drew that?
-Yeah. And wait, l got

454
00:24:38,686 --> 00:24:41,271
-one here.
-You didn't trace this?

455
00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:44,482
Uh-uh. No.
Here's another one over here.

456
00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:47,694
And lots of little guys.

457
00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,321
-That is so cute.
-l love to draw.

458
00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:51,614
You're really good at it.

459
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,616
-No.
-No, really, you are.

460
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,368
-No.
-Yeah.

461
00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:58,413
-Are you sure that's fat-free?
-Yes.

462
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:02,041
And you lose weight by doing it like this,
cutting it really small.

463
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:05,920
-l met a really cool guy.
-Describe.

464
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:08,464
All right, he's got long hair,
he's really funny.

465
00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:11,551
Straight off, right, he offers me
some smoke.

466
00:25:12,136 --> 00:25:13,553
There he is.

467
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:17,557
-Are you talking about drugs?
-Yeah.

468
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:22,520
-Tai, how old are you?
-l'll be 1 6 in May.

469
00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:25,148
My birthday's in April,
and as someone older

470
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,442
can l please give you some advice?

471
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,570
lt is one thing to spark up a doobie
and get laced at parties

472
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:32,739
but it is quite another to be fried all day.

473
00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:34,782
Do you see the distinction?

474
00:25:35,242 --> 00:25:37,076
-Yeah.
-Loadies generally hang

475
00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:38,870
on the grassy knoll over there.

476
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,456
Sometimes they come to class
and say bonehead things

477
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,707
and we all laugh, of course

478
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:45,376
but no respectable girl
actually dates them.

479
00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:46,461
Mmm-mmm.

480
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,923
You don't wanna start off
on the wrong foot now, do you?

481
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:51,591
l've got an idea.

482
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,093
-Let's do a makeover.
-(GASPS)

483
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,303
No.

484
00:25:56,555 --> 00:26:00,600
Come on, let us. Cher's main thrill
in life is a makeover, okay?

485
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:03,269
lt gives her a sense of control
in a world full of chaos.

486
00:26:03,354 --> 00:26:04,562
Please?

487
00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:07,273
Sure. Why not?

488
00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:12,362
Shit, you guys.
l've never had straight friends before.

489
00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:18,910
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG)

490
00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:26,834
(lNDlSTlNCT)

491
00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:06,082
Now squeeze your buttocks
when you come up.

492
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,917
-Squeeze here.
-Cher.

493
00:27:08,002 --> 00:27:09,502
l don't wanna do this anymore.

494
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,714
And my buns,
they don't feel nothing like steel.

495
00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:15,425
Okay, it will get easier, l promise.

496
00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:18,720
Just as long as we do it every day,
not just sporadically.

497
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:21,306
How do you know
if you're doing it sporadically?

498
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:25,601
That's another thing, Tai. We've got to
work on your accent and vocabulary.

499
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:29,564
See, "sporadic" means once in a while.
Try and use it in a sentence today.

500
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,149
TAl: All right.
CHER: Okay, from now on

501
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:34,861
we're alternating Cindy Crawford's
Aerobicize and Buns of Steel

502
00:27:34,945 --> 00:27:36,779
and reading
one non-school book a week.

503
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,198
My first book is Fit orFat.

504
00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:43,619
Mine is, Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus.

505
00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:47,206
Good. That takes care of our minds
and bodies.

506
00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:50,209
But we should do something good
for mankind or the planet

507
00:27:50,294 --> 00:27:51,711
for a couple of hours.

508
00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:53,212
Hey, brainiac.

509
00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:56,049
The dreaded ex. Tai, this is Josh.

510
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:57,884
Nice to meet you.

511
00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,969
You know about this stuff.

512
00:28:00,054 --> 00:28:02,638
l wanna do something good
for humanity.

513
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:04,724
How about sterilization?

514
00:28:09,063 --> 00:28:11,314
-What do you think?
-l'm amazed.

515
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:14,067
That l am devoting myself so generously
to someone else?

516
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:15,234
No.

517
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:18,613
That you found someone even more
clueless than you are to worship you.

518
00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:21,616
l am rescuing her from teenage hell.
Do you know the wounds

519
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,743
of adolescence
could take years to heal?

520
00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:27,246
And you've never had a mother,
so you're acting out on that poor girl

521
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:28,581
like she was your Barbie doll.

522
00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:31,125
Freshman psych rears its ugly head.

523
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,086
-l am not taking psych.
-Whatever.

524
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:37,423
l'm going to take that lost soul in there
and make her well-dressed and popular.

525
00:28:37,508 --> 00:28:42,136
Her life will be better because of me.
How many girls can say that about you?

526
00:28:43,806 --> 00:28:47,100
(SlNGlNG)
Mentos better, Mentos fresher

527
00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:51,270
Fresh goes better with Mentos
fresh and full of life

528
00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:52,438
MAN: (ON TV) Mentos.

529
00:28:52,523 --> 00:28:53,606
The freshmaker.

530
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,776
-Be seeing you.
-Yeah, l hope not sporadically.

531
00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:06,160
My God, do you see how boys
are responding?

532
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:09,497
-My heart is totally bursting.
-l know. l'm kvelling.

533
00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:12,375
-Cher, you have Diemer, right?
-Geist.

534
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:15,044
-Tai, did you get a flyer?
-Uh-uh.

535
00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:16,337
Thanks.

536
00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:17,713
Wow! A party.

537
00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:21,175
lt's in the Valley. The cops usually
break them up in less than an hour.

538
00:29:21,260 --> 00:29:24,762
-lt takes that long to get there.
-Besides, it's just local loadies.

539
00:29:24,847 --> 00:29:26,931
Do you guys think
that Travis is gonna be there?

540
00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:30,309
-Tai, l thought we moved on from there.
-Don't sell yourself short now.

541
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:33,146
You've got something going
that no one in this school has.

542
00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:34,313
l'm not a virgin.

543
00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,691
l mean mystery.
As far as everyone's concerned

544
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,734
you were the most popular girl
in your school.

545
00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:40,862
And the fact
that you hang with De and l, well...

546
00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:42,738
Speaks very highly of you.

547
00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:46,325
lf you strike while the iron is hot,
you can have any guy that you want.

548
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:47,994
-Yeah.
-Like who?

549
00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:51,956
Let's see, who's available?
There's Bronson, Brandon. l got it!

550
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,208
-Elton. He just broke up with Valette.
-Yes!

551
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:55,376
Who's Elton?

552
00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:58,963
My God, he's way popular.
He's like the social director of the crew.

553
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,090
And his dad
can get you into any concert.

554
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:03,676
And l noticed him scoping you out.

555
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,721
-He was looking at me?
-Says you gave him a toothache.

556
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:07,847
How'd l do that?

557
00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:10,433
lt's an expression.
lt means he thought you were sweet.

558
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:11,684
Yeah?

559
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:14,020
Wow!

560
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,063
-ls that true?
-No.

561
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,690
You are so bad.

562
00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:20,526
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG)

563
00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:28,326
CHER: Okay, you guys,
let's all get together. That is great.

564
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,162
Smile.

565
00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:40,379
Tai, get a little closer.

566
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:45,593
Closer, Tai.

567
00:30:48,096 --> 00:30:50,890
Elton, why don't you put your arm
around Tai?

568
00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:54,602
All right.

569
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:56,687
CHER: Yeah, that's good.

570
00:30:57,105 --> 00:30:58,231
Okay.

571
00:30:59,316 --> 00:31:01,567
Okay. Tai, come here.

572
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,364
-Hold that.
-Okay.

573
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:13,996
Cool picture.

574
00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:16,874
-Doesn't she look classic?
-Yeah, she's beautiful.

575
00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:19,919
She looks
like one of those Botticelli chicks.

576
00:31:20,003 --> 00:31:22,838
Why don't you make me
a copy of this, okay?

577
00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:24,882
Sure.

578
00:31:24,967 --> 00:31:25,967
(SHRlEKS EXClTEDLY)

579
00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:29,637
-Hi, Daddy, this is my friend Tai.
-Get out of my chair.

580
00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:35,226
Thank you, Lucy. lt looks great.

581
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:36,811
What is this crap?

582
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,146
Daddy, it's from
the Cut Your Cholesterol cookbook.

583
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,566
Dr. Lovett says you've got to get down
to 200.

584
00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:42,692
(PAGER BEEPlNG)

585
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:44,277
-No calls tonight.
-But it's Dionne.

586
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:45,903
-l'm sorry.
-lt might be important.

587
00:31:45,988 --> 00:31:48,573
We're gonna have a nice family dinner.

588
00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:51,325
So, what did you do in school today?

589
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:55,413
Well, l broke in my purple clogs.

590
00:31:56,039 --> 00:31:57,456
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

591
00:31:58,709 --> 00:32:00,001
-Yeah, hello?
-(PHONE RlNGlNG)

592
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,669
Jake. Yeah. No.

593
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:02,920
De, what up?

594
00:32:03,005 --> 00:32:06,632
So check it. Murray's Geometry class
is right by Elton's locker

595
00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:09,510
and taped up inside was
the picture you took of Tai.

596
00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:11,137
-My God!
-What?

597
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:13,556
Elton's got a picture of you
hanging up in his locker.

598
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,057
Oh, no shit!

599
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:16,309
Hello!

600
00:32:16,602 --> 00:32:20,521
So anyway, the whole crew is going
to this party in the Valley.

601
00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:21,772
Bye.

602
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:24,442
Looks like we're gonna have to make
a cameo at the Val party.

603
00:32:24,526 --> 00:32:27,236
MEL: l told you l wanted it
in the morning! No!

604
00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:30,489
Just look at the top of the map.
Sun Valley is north.

605
00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:32,575
No. All l see is Bel Air, okay? That's it.

606
00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:35,244
-Then you're on the wrong map.
-l'm not on the wrong map.

607
00:32:35,329 --> 00:32:36,537
Look at the number on the top.

608
00:32:36,622 --> 00:32:39,123
There are no numbers on the top.
There's letters.

609
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,207
(GRUNTlNG lN FRUSTRATlON)

610
00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:42,501
DlONNE: Murray, shut up.
TAl: Do you think it's gonna frizz out?

611
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:46,255
CHER: Listen, Tai, when we get there,
make sure Elton sees you

612
00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:47,673
but don't say hi first.

613
00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:50,468
Look like you're having fun
and you're really popular.

614
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:53,012
Talk to someone in his eye line,
preferably a guy.

615
00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:54,472
Make him come to you.

616
00:32:54,556 --> 00:32:57,933
And find an excuse to leave
while he's still into the conversation.

617
00:32:58,018 --> 00:33:00,645
The key is always have him
wanting more. You got it?

618
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:01,812
-l got it.
-Okay.

619
00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,022
TRAVlS: Heads up!

620
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,523
Did you just see that?

621
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:07,151
God, skateboards.
That is like so five years ago.

622
00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:10,154
You guys came. That's great.
You want a beer? l'll get you one.

623
00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:11,405
All right.

624
00:33:12,741 --> 00:33:13,908
(HlP-HOP MUSlC BLARlNG)

625
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,826
Yeah. This shit is whack.

626
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,579
This is raging.

627
00:33:18,664 --> 00:33:21,666
Let's do a lap before we commit
to a location.

628
00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:25,086
(YELPS) Hey!

629
00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:26,671
Who was that?

630
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:31,342
Cher, ain't that the same dress
that you were wearing yesterday?

631
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:34,679
Say, Ambular.

632
00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:36,180
Hi!

633
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,641
Was that you going through my laundry?

634
00:33:38,725 --> 00:33:39,809
As if.

635
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:43,104
Like l would really wear something
from Judy's.

636
00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:46,774
Do you prefer "fashion victim"
or "ensemble-y challenged?"

637
00:33:47,693 --> 00:33:48,859
A clone.

638
00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:51,570
Cher, you look much better in that dress
than she did.

639
00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:52,905
(GASPS)

640
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:56,200
Ruin my satin shoes, why don't you?

641
00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:57,326
l'm sorry.

642
00:33:57,411 --> 00:33:59,120
Excuse me, my shoe.

643
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,041
This is so not fixable.

644
00:34:04,126 --> 00:34:08,087
lt's a small price to pay to
the party gods. Look, l'll make amends.

645
00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:10,297
How about some chronic shit?

646
00:34:10,716 --> 00:34:13,008
-lt's the least you can do.
-Okay.

647
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,177
Spark it.

648
00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:19,515
CHER: Elton is over there.

649
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,059
Act like Travis is saying
something funny.

650
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:23,602
Sorry.

651
00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:34,613
-What's so funny?
-Nothing.

652
00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:41,245
CHER: Here.
SUMMER: Hey, everyone.

653
00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:43,414
Let's play Suck and Blow.

654
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:52,798
(ALL LAUGHlNG)

655
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:56,343
God, Elton, can't you suck?

656
00:34:56,762 --> 00:34:57,845
(DlONNE SCREAMlNG)

657
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,722
lt's De. Come on.

658
00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:03,726
DlONNE: What have you done?

659
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,227
My God.

660
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:09,440
-Why did you do this to your head?
-'Cause l'm keeping it real.

661
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:12,193
What? Look what he's done to his head.

662
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,862
-Can you believe this?
-Look at Lawrence's head.

663
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,656
-lt's the bomb.
-Know what l'm saying? You look good!

664
00:35:17,741 --> 00:35:18,824
As will you.

665
00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:22,119
What do you care what he thinks?
l'm the one that has to look at you!

666
00:35:22,204 --> 00:35:25,122
That was a big mistake!
What am l gonna do with you now?

667
00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:28,959
And right before the yearbook pictures.
What am l gonna tell my grandchildren?

668
00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:32,463
You know what? Okay. That's it.
You wanna play games?

669
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:35,508
-l'm calling your mother.
-No, wait, hold on. No.

670
00:35:35,592 --> 00:35:38,219
-Wait, don't call my mum.
-Come on. Chill, man. Chill!

671
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:39,428
Don't call my mum!

672
00:35:39,513 --> 00:35:41,388
The same thing happened
at the spring dance.

673
00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:43,724
She spent the entire after-party
in the bathroom.

674
00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:46,018
That almost destroyed my buzz.

675
00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:48,062
l'm still baked.

676
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:50,689
(ROLLIN' WITH MY HOMIES PLAYING)

677
00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:58,656
What do you say
we go bump into people?

678
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:00,825
Yeah, l'm cool with that.

679
00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:04,662
TRAVlS: Tai, wait up.

680
00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:09,542
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

681
00:36:09,626 --> 00:36:12,336
Where's your sense of pit hospitality?

682
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:17,633
That was so cool the way you did that.
l wish l could do it.

683
00:36:17,717 --> 00:36:19,927
-No, don't.
-Why not?

684
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:23,264
'Cause if girls did it, what would guys do
to impress them?

685
00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:26,350
l don't know, like, stuff.

686
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:29,895
-You know?
-What kind of stuff?

687
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:37,152
-Tai, l need you.
-Okay.

688
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:38,946
Elton's over there.

689
00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:06,724
Tai. Elton, help me!

690
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:16,191
-You guys should use ice.
-No, Travis, we've got it under control.

691
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:17,401
Tai, are you okay?

692
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:21,071
Travis, Tai would have wanted you
to enjoy the party.

693
00:37:23,617 --> 00:37:27,411
lf it's a concussion, you have to keep
her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.

694
00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:30,331
-What's seven times seven?
-Stuff she knows.

695
00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:40,841
-That's some bump you've got there.
-Yeah.

696
00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:43,802
-You ready to go back out there?
-Yeah, l am.

697
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:45,512
All right. You sure? Can you do this?

698
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,765
(SlNGlNG) Rolling with the homies

699
00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:49,099
Rolling with the homies

700
00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:51,310
Yeah, let's do it. You're ready.

701
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:58,275
CHER: I had to give myself snaps
for all the good deeds I was doing.

702
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,278
It was so great. Love was everywhere.

703
00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:05,282
Even though I was alone,
I was really happy for Tai.

704
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:08,619
It's like that book I read in ninth grade
that said,

705
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:12,456
"'Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff
for other people."

706
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,458
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

707
00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:18,045
CHER: Hello?
MEL: Do you know what time it is?

708
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:20,339
A watch doesn't really
go with this outfit, Daddy.

709
00:38:20,423 --> 00:38:21,590
Where are you?

710
00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:24,093
l'm just having a snack
with my girlfriends.

711
00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:26,553
-Where, in Kuwait?
-ls that in the Valley?

712
00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:30,057
Cher, I expect you to walk in this door
in 20 minutes.

713
00:38:30,183 --> 00:38:33,310
Well, it might take
longer than that, Dad.

714
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,063
Everywhere in LA takes 20 minutes.

715
00:38:39,985 --> 00:38:41,235
CHER: Sorry to make you leave.

716
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:44,989
Dionne's bucking for
Best Dramatic Actress at a Val Party.

717
00:38:46,366 --> 00:38:47,574
Hey, Summer.

718
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:51,036
Hi. Pretty random fiesta.
Do you need a ride home?

719
00:38:51,121 --> 00:38:52,830
-That'd be great. Thanks.
-No, l got her.

720
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:54,790
l'm right below
Wilshire and Linden, so...

721
00:38:54,874 --> 00:38:57,459
That's right near me.
l'm above Olympic.

722
00:38:57,544 --> 00:39:00,879
Great. Then, Tai, you'll go with Summer
and, Cher, you'll come with me.

723
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:05,134
Actually, you could take Wilshire
to Canon and that turns into Benedict.

724
00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:09,221
Well, then she'd have to go back south
and l'm already going north.

725
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:13,267
But you could take Tai on your way
up to Sunset.

726
00:39:13,977 --> 00:39:16,186
-Yeah.
-That doesn't make any sense.

727
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:20,357
l'd have to get off the freeway.
l hate that. Tai, go with Summer.

728
00:39:20,442 --> 00:39:22,943
Cher, you'll come with me.
Watch your feet.

729
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:36,790
CHER: Didn't Tai look cute tonight?

730
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,292
(SlNGlNG) Turn away

731
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:45,507
Turn away

732
00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:49,303
l really love her hair
when it's all wild, you know.

733
00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:54,850
lt's also very pretty when it's all up
with that curly tendrils

734
00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:56,560
like in that picture l took.

735
00:39:56,644 --> 00:39:58,645
You know,
you're one of my best friends.

736
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:02,232
And l do not have friends that are girls.

737
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,820
Well, l'm glad because your happiness
means a lot to me.

738
00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:08,030
lt does?

739
00:40:08,114 --> 00:40:11,408
Sure. l saw how hard your breakup
with Valette was.

740
00:40:12,577 --> 00:40:16,663
Yeah. l think we both know
what it feels like to be lonely.

741
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:22,836
Whatever. The thing is
l'd really like to see you settled already.

742
00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:28,675
CHER: Where are we going?

743
00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:32,930
l knew it.

744
00:40:36,184 --> 00:40:37,684
You knew what?

745
00:40:38,478 --> 00:40:42,189
-That you were totally sprung on me.
-Hello! Don't you mean Tai?

746
00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:44,775
-Tai?
-You have her picture in your locker.

747
00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:47,361
l have the picture you took in my locker.

748
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:50,322
l'm having a Twin Peaks experience.

749
00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:55,119
-l knew it. l knew when you kissed me.
-Suck and Blow is a game, Elton.

750
00:40:55,203 --> 00:40:56,787
No, it's not.

751
00:40:56,871 --> 00:40:58,122
Stop it.

752
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:05,629
Fine. You know, l don't get you, Cher.
l mean, you flirt with me all year.

753
00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,047
As if.

754
00:41:07,549 --> 00:41:09,967
l have been trying to get you together
with Tai.

755
00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:12,469
Tai? Why would l go with Tai?

756
00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:15,681
-Why not?
-Why not? Why not?

757
00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:19,059
Don't you even know who my father is?

758
00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,186
You are a snob and a half.

759
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,731
Cher, listen to me. Me and Tai.

760
00:41:25,024 --> 00:41:26,233
(EXCLAlMS lN DlSGUST)

761
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,652
We don't make any sense. Right?

762
00:41:29,571 --> 00:41:30,904
Me and you.

763
00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:34,658
Well, l mean, that makes sense.

764
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:40,414
-Cut it out!
-Come on, Cher.

765
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:41,748
Stop it!

766
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:47,087
Cher. Where you going?

767
00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:50,007
You're only hurting yourself here, baby.
Come on.

768
00:41:50,091 --> 00:41:52,926
You gonna walk home?
Get back in the car, please.

769
00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:54,678
Get back in the car.

770
00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:56,263
Leave me alone.

771
00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:57,681
Fine.

772
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,434
Where are you going?

773
00:42:01,895 --> 00:42:03,103
(WHlMPERlNG)

774
00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:04,521
Shit.

775
00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:08,859
OPERATOR: Valley lnformation.

776
00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:10,777
Do you have the number
of a cab company?

777
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:11,862
Which one?

778
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,531
l don't know which one.
What do you have out here?

779
00:42:14,616 --> 00:42:16,617
-We have Valley Cab.
-Hand it over.

780
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:19,453
-Give me the phone. Okay.
-(WHlMPERlNG)

781
00:42:20,788 --> 00:42:23,081
Your bag, too. Come on!

782
00:42:23,917 --> 00:42:27,377
All right. Now, get down on the ground.
Face down.

783
00:42:28,755 --> 00:42:31,298
-Come on!
-Oh, no. You don't understand.

784
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:33,050
This is an Alaia.

785
00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:34,635
An A-what?

786
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:37,971
lt's like a totally important designer.

787
00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:40,766
And l will totally shoot you in the head.

788
00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:42,476
Get down.

789
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:43,894
(WHlMPERlNG)

790
00:42:43,978 --> 00:42:47,147
That's good. That's good right there.
All right.

791
00:42:47,273 --> 00:42:49,066
Count to 1 00. Thank you.

792
00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:53,278
One, two...

793
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:58,116
CHER: The evening had turned into
a royal mess.

794
00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:01,078
Sexually harassed. Robbed.

795
00:43:01,454 --> 00:43:04,498
I didn't know the number of the party,
so I couldn't call Dionne.

796
00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:07,251
And Daddy would kill me
if he knew where I was.

797
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:09,086
There was just one person left to call

798
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:11,672
and I really, really didn't want
to call him.

799
00:43:13,341 --> 00:43:14,424
JOSH: Come on.

800
00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:15,759
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

801
00:43:17,345 --> 00:43:19,346
-Hello?
-Josh, you busy?

802
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:21,515
-Who is it?
-lt's Mel's daughter.

803
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:24,434
So, okay, l was at this party
and my designated driver

804
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:26,687
tried to attack me,
so l got out so he'd stop.

805
00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:29,356
But then he drove off and deserted me.

806
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,776
And then this guy with a gun
held me up, took my money

807
00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:35,153
(CRYlNG) and my phone
and he yelled at me

808
00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:37,155
and he forced me to ruin my dress.

809
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:40,701
Okay. Look, where are you?

810
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:43,704
Sun Valley.

811
00:43:44,998 --> 00:43:46,540
Man, you owe me.

812
00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:50,544
Look, the man is ridiculous.
He doesn't have one unique thought

813
00:43:50,670 --> 00:43:52,629
in his little, puny brain.

814
00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:55,549
l think that there's some merit
in learning forms straight off.

815
00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:59,553
Josh, please. He's taken our minds
at their most fecund point.

816
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,555
-What?
-And restrained them before they've

817
00:44:01,681 --> 00:44:04,057
wandered through the garden of ideas.

818
00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:08,061
lt's just like Hamlet said,
"To thine own self be true."

819
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,564
No, Hamlet didn't say that.

820
00:44:11,232 --> 00:44:14,067
l think
that l remember Hamlet accurately.

821
00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:19,197
l remember Mel Gibson accurately
and he didn't say that.

822
00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:21,241
That Polonius guy did.

823
00:44:21,534 --> 00:44:22,826
(CHUCKLlNG)

824
00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:40,844
l'm gonna walk Heather to her door.
Try and stay out of trouble.

825
00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:55,984
CHER: Ew!

826
00:44:56,069 --> 00:44:59,404
My life is turning into
a bigger disaster than Malibu.

827
00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:01,948
I didn't know
what I was going to say to Tai.

828
00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:03,909
I felt really nervous.

829
00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:08,622
And even Fabianne, my masseuse,
said I had a lot of tension in my back.

830
00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:12,918
lt's my hips, isn't it?

831
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:15,295
-No, of course not.
-Yes.

832
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,130
Don't be stupid.
You could do so much better.

833
00:45:17,256 --> 00:45:19,966
-He thinks he's all that, Tai.
-Yeah, God's gift.

834
00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:21,218
You're too good for him.

835
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:24,805
lf l'm too good for him,
then how come l'm not with him?

836
00:45:26,808 --> 00:45:29,893
l have got an idea.
Let's blow off seventh and eighth

837
00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:33,814
go to the mall, have a calorie fest,
and see the new Christian Slater.

838
00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:35,065
Yes!

839
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,317
Aw! You guys.

840
00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:44,616
CHER: Look at him.

841
00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,159
Baby!

842
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:48,954
Break me off a piece of that.

843
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:52,290
-Survey says?
-Doable.

844
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:55,335
Puny. l like them big.

845
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,254
Ew! l hate muscles.

846
00:45:57,505 --> 00:46:00,507
You know what,
l don't really care either way.

847
00:46:00,842 --> 00:46:04,845
Just as long as his you-know-what
isn't crooked. l really hate that.

848
00:46:05,304 --> 00:46:06,596
-What?
-DlONNE: Shh.

849
00:46:06,681 --> 00:46:08,932
-Don't scare her.
-Why, what's wrong?

850
00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:12,269
Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.

851
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,438
Cher, you're a virgin?

852
00:46:14,522 --> 00:46:16,356
God, you say that like it's a bad thing.

853
00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:19,818
Besides, the P.C. term
is "hymenally challenged."

854
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:25,198
l am just not interested in doing it
until l find the right person.

855
00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:28,535
You see how picky l am about
my shoes, and they only go on my feet.

856
00:46:28,661 --> 00:46:29,703
Yeah.

857
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:33,123
-God, you're one to talk, De.
-Wait a minute here. Wait.

858
00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,876
l thought that, like,
you and Murray were...

859
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:39,379
My man is satisfied.
He's got no cause for complaints.

860
00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:42,799
But technically, l am a virgin.
You know what l mean.

861
00:46:42,884 --> 00:46:45,051
(ROLLIN' WITH MY HOMIES
PLAYlNG ON SPEAKER)

862
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:47,387
Oh, God.

863
00:46:48,389 --> 00:46:51,308
-What's wrong, Tai?
-They're playing our song.

864
00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:54,436
You know, the one that Elton and l
danced to.

865
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:55,520
Ohhh!

866
00:46:56,564 --> 00:46:58,815
(SlNGlNG) Rolling with the homies

867
00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:02,402
-Tai. Don't cry.
-l'm sorry.

868
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,238
Oh, God.

869
00:47:06,908 --> 00:47:08,074
Stop!

870
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:12,078
CHER: I could tell Tai's grieving period
would be considerable

871
00:47:12,205 --> 00:47:15,749
unless I found someone
to take Elton's place right away.

872
00:47:21,756 --> 00:47:25,008
So, okay, I don't want to be a traitor
to my generation and all

873
00:47:25,092 --> 00:47:27,427
but I don't get how guys dress today.

874
00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:30,263
I mean, come on,
it looks like they just fell out of bed

875
00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:33,934
and put on some baggy pants
and take their greasy hair

876
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:38,104
and cover it up with a backwards cap
and, like, we're expected to swoon?

877
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,398
I don't think so.

878
00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:48,198
Searching for a boy in high school is
as useless as searching for meaning

879
00:47:48,282 --> 00:47:50,200
in a Pauly Shore movie.

880
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:55,413
(SLOW ROMANTlC
lNSTRUMENTAL MUSlC)

881
00:48:15,977 --> 00:48:19,104
So this must be the elusive Christian.

882
00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:22,899
-Where should l park?
-There's one, third back.

883
00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:29,739
CHER: Okay. Now I know I said I'd find
a guy for Tai

884
00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:34,452
but I suppose there's no harm
in finding one for myself also.

885
00:48:44,005 --> 00:48:45,338
Nice stems.

886
00:48:45,590 --> 00:48:46,840
Thanks.

887
00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:50,510
-MR. HALL: Cher?
-Present.

888
00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:53,179
l guess we established that
during attendance.

889
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:56,433
-lt's time for your oral.
-Excuse me?

890
00:48:56,517 --> 00:48:59,853
Your original oral.
The topic is violence in the media.

891
00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:01,146
Oh!

892
00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:05,609
So, okay.

893
00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:07,110
The Attorney General says

894
00:49:07,194 --> 00:49:10,363
there's too much violence on TV
and that should stop.

895
00:49:10,489 --> 00:49:14,534
But even if you took out all the violent
shows, you could still see the news.

896
00:49:14,619 --> 00:49:19,122
Until mankind is peaceful enough
not to have violence on the news

897
00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:23,126
there's no point in taking it out of shows
that need it for entertainment value.

898
00:49:24,045 --> 00:49:25,211
Thank you.

899
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:34,304
Any comments? Elton?

900
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:36,806
My foot hurts. Can l go to the nurse?

901
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:38,558
Travis?

902
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:42,145
Two very enthusiastic thumbs up.
Fine holiday fun.

903
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:46,566
Hello! Was l the only one listening?

904
00:49:46,692 --> 00:49:48,985
l mean, l thought it reeked.

905
00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:52,322
l believe that was your
designer impostor perfume.

906
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:53,823
(SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG)

907
00:49:56,994 --> 00:49:58,244
l dug it.

908
00:50:07,755 --> 00:50:11,383
CHER: During the next few days,
I did what any normal girl would do...

909
00:50:11,550 --> 00:50:13,385
I sent myself love letters

910
00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:15,929
and flowers and candy,

911
00:50:16,097 --> 00:50:19,933
just so he'd see how desired I was,
in case he didn't already know.

912
00:50:29,110 --> 00:50:30,443
CHER: Christian.

913
00:50:30,528 --> 00:50:34,447
CHER: And anything you can do
to draw attention to your mouth is good.

914
00:50:36,117 --> 00:50:39,619
Also, sometimes
you have to show a little skin.

915
00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:43,707
This reminds guys of being naked,
and then they think of sex.

916
00:50:46,627 --> 00:50:48,795
-Hey, duchess?
-Yes?

917
00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:51,464
-You rationed this weekend?
-Huh?

918
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:52,716
Like Saturday.

919
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:56,636
l'm new, but l thought maybe
you had an in on the heavy clambakes.

920
00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:01,975
My ex-stepbrother's friends
are having a party.

921
00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:03,476
Solid.

922
00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:09,065
CHER: Suddenly Daddy had a case
that had to be solved right away

923
00:51:09,150 --> 00:51:13,319
so some clerks and Josh came to help
him go through a gazillion depositions.

924
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:14,612
(DOORBELL RlNGlNG)

925
00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:17,824
CHER: Daddy!
MEL: What?

926
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:21,161
l can't just open it,
l have to make him wait a while!

927
00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:22,829
Then he can wait outside.

928
00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:25,123
Josh, please?

929
00:51:25,666 --> 00:51:27,584
Come on, Josh!

930
00:51:29,003 --> 00:51:30,128
(WHlMPERlNG) Come on!

931
00:51:39,972 --> 00:51:41,514
What do you hear?

932
00:51:42,183 --> 00:51:43,641
She's not ready.

933
00:51:49,815 --> 00:51:50,940
CHRlSTlAN: Hey, man.

934
00:51:52,526 --> 00:51:54,444
Nice pile of bricks you got here.

935
00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:57,280
-You drink?
-No, thanks. l'm cool.

936
00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:59,949
l'm not offering.
l'm asking you if you drink.

937
00:52:00,034 --> 00:52:03,286
You think l'd give alcohol to
teenage drivers taking my daughter out?

938
00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:05,205
Hey, man, the protective vibe, l dig.

939
00:52:05,331 --> 00:52:06,706
What's with you, kid?

940
00:52:06,874 --> 00:52:10,543
You think the death of Sammy Davis
left an opening in the rat pack?

941
00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:14,547
(SWEEPlNG ORCHESTRAL MUSlC)

942
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:20,345
Christian.

943
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:22,472
CHRlSTlAN: Doll face.

944
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:24,057
Handsome.

945
00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:26,726
Stunning.

946
00:52:27,645 --> 00:52:30,063
You're not letting her go out like that,
are you?

947
00:52:30,231 --> 00:52:32,232
-Cher, get in here.
-What's up, Daddy?

948
00:52:32,316 --> 00:52:34,734
-What the hell is that?
-A dress.

949
00:52:34,819 --> 00:52:36,736
-Says who?
-Calvin Klein.

950
00:52:36,821 --> 00:52:40,156
lt looks like underwear!
Go upstairs and put something over it!

951
00:52:40,241 --> 00:52:42,408
l was just going to.

952
00:52:43,911 --> 00:52:45,203
MEL: Hey, you!

953
00:52:45,579 --> 00:52:48,873
Anything happens to my daughter,
l got a .45 and a shovel.

954
00:52:49,083 --> 00:52:50,917
l doubt anybody would miss you.

955
00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:53,253
Bye, Daddy.

956
00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:56,089
Come on.

957
00:53:03,264 --> 00:53:06,099
-lt's so killer.
-Thank you.

958
00:53:07,434 --> 00:53:09,769
-Your dad is pretty scary.
-lsn't he?

959
00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:16,234
-You like Billie Holiday?
-l love him.

960
00:53:16,443 --> 00:53:17,610
Right.

961
00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:20,905
(MISS BROWN TO YOU
PLAYlNG ON STEREO)

962
00:53:26,245 --> 00:53:28,746
-l didn't like him.
-What's to like?

963
00:53:28,914 --> 00:53:32,458
-Maybe l should go to the party.
-lf you feel like you should go.

964
00:53:32,585 --> 00:53:34,586
-You don't need me, do you?
-No.

965
00:53:34,712 --> 00:53:38,131
-l mean, unless you want me to stay...
-Josh, go to the party. Go.

966
00:53:38,257 --> 00:53:39,382
Okay.

967
00:53:42,136 --> 00:53:44,137
-l'll watch her for you.
-Okay.

968
00:53:44,972 --> 00:53:46,389
You do that.

969
00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:58,109
(SlNGlNG SOMEDAY l SUPPOSE)

970
00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:47,367
Tai!

971
00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:50,662
Oh, my God!

972
00:54:51,664 --> 00:54:53,039
Tai, are you okay?

973
00:54:53,165 --> 00:54:55,208
God, shit, that is so embarrassing.

974
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,292
No, no one saw.

975
00:54:56,377 --> 00:54:59,879
Good. Now all night long l'll be known
as "that girl who fell on her butt."

976
00:54:59,964 --> 00:55:00,964
Tai, no one noticed.

977
00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:03,466
Wow, are you okay?
That looked really bad.

978
00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:04,801
Yeah, thanks.

979
00:55:06,512 --> 00:55:08,137
Oh, my God, Cher, look.

980
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:10,181
He's going with Amber?

981
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:14,143
No, he's probably just dancing with her.

982
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:22,026
-Do you think she's pretty?
-She's a full-on Monet.

983
00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:24,570
-What's a Monet?
-lt's like the paintings, see?

984
00:55:24,697 --> 00:55:27,490
From far away it's okay,
but up close it's a big old mess.

985
00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:28,825
Let's ask a guy.

986
00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,868
Christian, what do you think ofAmber?

987
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:33,413
-Hagsville.
-See?

988
00:55:33,497 --> 00:55:37,083
Dig this, they're charging for brewskies.

989
00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:40,336
-Pass me a fin, l'll pay you back?
-Sure.

990
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:46,759
Thanks.

991
00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:49,095
Oh, he is so cute.

992
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:53,433
Oh, my God, do you see
how he's falling in love with me?

993
00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:58,521
Excuse me.

994
00:55:58,605 --> 00:56:00,606
l mean, look how he ignores
every other girl.

995
00:56:00,733 --> 00:56:04,027
What's it all about?
What am l gonna do with that?

996
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:05,278
l wouldn't know.

997
00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:09,907
Oh, God, look. There's Josh.

998
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:12,201
CHER: l didn't even see him come in.

999
00:56:12,286 --> 00:56:14,370
But it's like he finds
the only adult in here.

1000
00:56:14,455 --> 00:56:16,748
Like he's deliberately trying
to not have fun.

1001
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:18,875
Cher, l have a question.

1002
00:56:18,959 --> 00:56:21,377
What should l do with this,
should l tie it around

1003
00:56:21,462 --> 00:56:23,880
-or put it over my shoulders?
-Tie it around your waist.

1004
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,798
-Ready to slide?
-Thanks.

1005
00:56:25,924 --> 00:56:27,133
Let's go.

1006
00:56:32,431 --> 00:56:35,933
(SlNGlNG WHERE'D YOU GO?)

1007
00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:56,079
CHER: The band was kicking
and Christian was the hottest guy there.

1008
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:59,999
But my enjoyment was put on pause
when I saw how unhappy Tai was.

1009
00:57:09,093 --> 00:57:10,593
-Hi.
-Hi.

1010
00:57:11,470 --> 00:57:14,097
When l see a beautiful girl,
l think we were born to move.

1011
00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:15,181
What?

1012
00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:19,268
(GASPS) Look! Josh is dancing with Tai!
He never dances.

1013
00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:20,603
l can see why.

1014
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:24,273
No, he's doing her a prop
so she won't be left out.

1015
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:25,817
-Oh, l dig you.
-Aw!

1016
00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:05,314
-How are you guys holding up?
-l'm so ready to leave.

1017
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:06,482
Tired.

1018
00:58:06,567 --> 00:58:08,985
Let's get Christian and go. Christian

1019
00:58:09,361 --> 00:58:11,070
-you wanna go?
-Now?

1020
00:58:11,155 --> 00:58:14,240
These guys right here got the skinny
on the happening after-hours.

1021
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:16,868
My trainer's coming really early
this morning.

1022
00:58:17,870 --> 00:58:20,705
-Look, l could take the girls home.
-No, that's all right.

1023
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:23,166
-No, it's fine, stay.
-You sure?

1024
00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:24,333
Yeah, sure.

1025
00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:26,085
Thanks, man. You got my marker.

1026
00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:29,172
You are a down girl.
l'll call you tomorrow.

1027
00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:34,594
CHER: lt was really decent of you
to dance with Tai tonight.

1028
00:58:34,678 --> 00:58:35,678
JOSH: My pleasure.

1029
00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:38,014
Did you notice
any positive changes in her?

1030
00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:39,223
Yeah.

1031
00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:43,936
Under your tutelage, she's exploring
the challenging world of bare midriffs.

1032
00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:49,233
So you didn't want to make a night of it
with the ring-a-ding kid?

1033
00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:51,277
Yeah, Daddy wouldn't go too ballistic.

1034
00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,862
lt's not like he's going to sleep.

1035
00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:55,198
No. Not if they're going
to finish those depos.

1036
00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:59,702
Hey, you know what would be so dope?
lf we got some really delicious takeout.

1037
00:58:59,786 --> 00:59:01,704
l bet they haven't eaten all night.

1038
00:59:01,788 --> 00:59:04,290
Yeah, that would be pretty dope of us.

1039
00:59:06,627 --> 00:59:07,877
Let's do it.

1040
00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,840
CHER: The midnight snack
totally revived

1041
00:59:12,925 --> 00:59:14,675
the lawyers
and Daddy was way grateful.

1042
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:15,760
Meat.

1043
00:59:15,844 --> 00:59:18,095
Eat oranges, you get a lot of vitamin C.
Daddy, no!

1044
00:59:18,180 --> 00:59:20,139
-You know you can't have that.
-Cher, come on!

1045
00:59:20,224 --> 00:59:21,349
Don't be silly.

1046
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:22,600
CHER: I know it sounds mental

1047
00:59:22,684 --> 00:59:26,646
but sometimes I have more fun
vegging out than when I go partying.

1048
00:59:26,730 --> 00:59:28,773
Maybe because my party clothes
are so binding.

1049
00:59:28,857 --> 00:59:30,024
Look, l'm just curious.

1050
00:59:30,108 --> 00:59:32,818
How many hours a day do you spend
grooming yourself?

1051
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:36,948
Some people are not lucky enough
to be as naturally adorable as you are.

1052
00:59:37,032 --> 00:59:38,950
Stop it, you're making me blush.

1053
00:59:39,034 --> 00:59:40,076
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

1054
00:59:40,911 --> 00:59:41,994
Hello.

1055
00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:43,621
GAlL: Hi, Cher, how are you?

1056
00:59:43,705 --> 00:59:44,872
Hi, Gail.

1057
00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:47,375
Is my son there
cleaning out your refrigerator?

1058
00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:49,919
No, he's not here.

1059
00:59:50,003 --> 00:59:51,504
You should try the dorms.

1060
00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:52,838
All right. Bye, hon.

1061
00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:54,048
Bye-bye.

1062
00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:55,675
What was that all about?

1063
00:59:55,759 --> 00:59:57,593
She wants me to come home
for spring break.

1064
00:59:57,678 --> 00:59:59,637
What's the big deal?
Nobody will be in school.

1065
00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:01,847
Yeah, but Husband Number 4
is at home

1066
01:00:01,932 --> 01:00:04,767
and his whole idea
of acting like a family is to criticize me.

1067
01:00:04,851 --> 01:00:08,145
So what, you're gonna roam around
campus for two weeks all by yourself?

1068
01:00:08,230 --> 01:00:09,313
l don't mind.

1069
01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:12,024
That is stupid.
Why don't you just come here,

1070
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,361
you can have your old room, and
there are gonna be some great parties.

1071
01:00:15,445 --> 01:00:17,863
-No.
-Why not?

1072
01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:22,493
You got your whole social world
going on. l don't want to get in the way.

1073
01:00:22,577 --> 01:00:24,078
You won't be in the way.

1074
01:00:24,162 --> 01:00:27,123
How much fun would it be
having a brother-type tagging along?

1075
01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:28,958
Josh, you are not my brother.

1076
01:00:29,334 --> 01:00:30,876
Look, you know what l mean.

1077
01:00:31,253 --> 01:00:33,546
Come on, you need some excitement
in your life.

1078
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:35,673
lt will replenish you for your finals.

1079
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:40,511
-Okay.
-Good.

1080
01:00:42,931 --> 01:00:46,183
l can't believe l'm taking advice
from someone who watches cartoons.

1081
01:00:46,768 --> 01:00:49,186
Be quiet, you idiot!

1082
01:00:49,271 --> 01:00:50,855
That's Ren and Stimpy.

1083
01:00:51,523 --> 01:00:53,316
They are way existential.

1084
01:00:53,567 --> 01:00:55,609
Do you have any idea
what you're talking about?

1085
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:58,029
No. Why, do l sound like l do?

1086
01:01:05,996 --> 01:01:09,290
(SWEEPlNG lNSTRUMENTAL MUSlC
RlSlNG lN TEMPO)

1087
01:01:09,875 --> 01:01:10,958
(PHONE RlNGlNG)

1088
01:01:11,043 --> 01:01:12,877
CHER: Christian said he'd call
the next day

1089
01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:14,628
but in boy time that meant Thursday.

1090
01:01:14,713 --> 01:01:16,380
You can imagine my astonishment

1091
01:01:16,465 --> 01:01:18,424
to hear from him
while I was packing Daddy up.

1092
01:01:18,508 --> 01:01:19,592
Hello?

1093
01:01:19,968 --> 01:01:23,304
CHER: He said he'd come over with
some videotapes and we'd watch them.

1094
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:26,390
A night alone with Christian?
I sent for reinforcements.

1095
01:01:26,475 --> 01:01:27,600
De!

1096
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:31,645
CHER: Then De and l
had to design a lighting concept.

1097
01:01:32,356 --> 01:01:33,856
And costume decisions.

1098
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:37,151
I don't rely on mirrors
so I always take Polaroids.

1099
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:43,741
Whenever a boy comes, you should
always have something baking.

1100
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,879
Oh! l'm still all red!

1101
01:01:56,963 --> 01:02:00,049
l'm trying to make you
as white as l can, Cher.

1102
01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:05,388
Look, you're all flushed.
You have to calm down. Okay, calm.

1103
01:02:06,515 --> 01:02:08,182
You know, l am so glad l never did it

1104
01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,726
with someone
l had lukewarm feelings for

1105
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,895
'cause Christian is brutally hot.

1106
01:02:13,397 --> 01:02:15,398
And l am gonna
remember tonight forever.

1107
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:16,565
Blot.

1108
01:02:23,824 --> 01:02:26,826
Hi.

1109
01:02:29,830 --> 01:02:30,996
Something burning?

1110
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:33,416
Oh, my God!

1111
01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:44,218
Oh, honey, you baked.

1112
01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:45,928
l tried.

1113
01:02:46,263 --> 01:02:49,098
Come on. Show me the rest of your pad.

1114
01:02:53,019 --> 01:02:54,979
Your father
has a well-rounded collection.

1115
01:02:55,063 --> 01:02:56,772
Daddy says it's a good investment.

1116
01:02:56,857 --> 01:02:59,733
He's absolutely right. Claes Oldenburg.

1117
01:02:59,860 --> 01:03:01,569
Oh, he's way famous.

1118
01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:06,699
But this is older, see? Transitional.

1119
01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:08,784
A very important piece.

1120
01:03:09,870 --> 01:03:11,537
You want to go swimming?

1121
01:03:11,872 --> 01:03:13,789
(EXCLAlMS DlSMlSSlVELY)

1122
01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:16,625
-Let's watch the movies.
-Oh, okay.

1123
01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:19,295
CHER: Christian had a thing
for Tony Curtis

1124
01:03:19,379 --> 01:03:22,465
so he brought over Some Like lt Hot
and Sparaticus.

1125
01:03:23,884 --> 01:03:25,259
Singer of songs.

1126
01:03:26,386 --> 01:03:28,721
For whom did you practice
this wondrous talent?

1127
01:03:29,639 --> 01:03:33,642
For the children of my master
whom I also taught the classics.

1128
01:03:33,894 --> 01:03:34,977
Classics, indeed?

1129
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:39,648
What position have we, I wonder,
for a boy of such varied gifts?

1130
01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:44,820
You shall be my body servant.
Instruct him.

1131
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:46,322
All of you, come with me.

1132
01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:51,118
My feet are cold.

1133
01:03:58,835 --> 01:03:59,919
Thanks.

1134
01:04:01,129 --> 01:04:03,088
Oh, watch this part. This is good.

1135
01:04:06,927 --> 01:04:08,093
Are you okay?

1136
01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:09,512
l'm fine.

1137
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:13,349
Do you want something to drink?
You know, l could get you some wine.

1138
01:04:13,433 --> 01:04:14,517
No.

1139
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:18,354
You notice how wine makes people
want to feel, like sexy?

1140
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,022
That's okay.

1141
01:04:24,444 --> 01:04:26,153
l'm actually getting tired.

1142
01:04:28,198 --> 01:04:30,491
But l can make you some coffee
if you'd like.

1143
01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:33,118
Oh, no, thanks. Got the ulcer.

1144
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,538
You had all those cappuccinos before.

1145
01:04:37,332 --> 01:04:39,959
Well, you know, that was, like, foam.

1146
01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:48,801
You're great. We're friends, right?

1147
01:04:52,222 --> 01:04:53,722
Knock me a little kiss.

1148
01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:56,892
l'll see you.

1149
01:05:02,399 --> 01:05:05,734
CHER: I don't get it. Did my hair get flat?

1150
01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:08,529
Did I stumble into some bad lighting?

1151
01:05:09,072 --> 01:05:10,406
What's wrong with me?

1152
01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:13,075
Nothing! Maybe he really was tired.

1153
01:05:13,159 --> 01:05:17,246
l suppose it wasn't meant to be.
l mean, he does dress better than l do.

1154
01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:19,081
What would l bring to the relationship?

1155
01:05:19,165 --> 01:05:21,917
Get back into the right lane.
What's the first thing you do?

1156
01:05:22,002 --> 01:05:24,044
The first thing l do is l put on my blinker.

1157
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:25,713
Oh, wait, shit.

1158
01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:28,507
-Watch the road!
-All right! Stop!

1159
01:05:28,592 --> 01:05:30,843
Then l look in my mirror.

1160
01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:34,680
Okay. Then l glance at my blind spot.

1161
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,725
You glance with your head
not the whole car!

1162
01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:38,892
l swear to God...

1163
01:05:39,019 --> 01:05:41,687
l swear to God, woman,
you can't drive for shit!

1164
01:05:41,771 --> 01:05:44,064
-l'm not trying to hear that. No.
-Hear me! You...

1165
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:47,943
Actually, going all the way
is like a really big decision.

1166
01:05:48,028 --> 01:05:50,195
l can't believe
l was so capricious about it.

1167
01:05:50,614 --> 01:05:52,990
De, l almost had sex with him.

1168
01:05:53,074 --> 01:05:54,617
You almost had sex with who?

1169
01:05:54,701 --> 01:05:55,868
Christian.

1170
01:05:57,912 --> 01:05:59,038
What?

1171
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:02,499
Look, are you bitches
blind or something?

1172
01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:05,461
-Your man Christian is a cake boy.
-A what?

1173
01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:07,963
He's a disco-dancing,
Oscar Wilde-reading,

1174
01:06:08,048 --> 01:06:09,923
Streisand ticket-holding,
friend of Dorothy.

1175
01:06:10,050 --> 01:06:11,133
You know what l'm saying?

1176
01:06:11,343 --> 01:06:13,385
-Uh-uh. No way.
-He's gay.

1177
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,596
-Not even.
-Yes, even.

1178
01:06:16,222 --> 01:06:19,433
He does like to shop, Cher.
And the boy can dress.

1179
01:06:19,559 --> 01:06:22,102
Oh, my God, l am totally bugging.

1180
01:06:22,729 --> 01:06:24,897
l feel like such a bonehead.

1181
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:28,108
What the hell?
You're getting on the freeway!

1182
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:30,444
-What?
-No, turn right! Get out of the lane!

1183
01:06:30,570 --> 01:06:33,072
No! Forget procedure,
just get out of the lane!

1184
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:35,574
-A truck!
-(GlRLS SCREAMlNG)

1185
01:06:36,785 --> 01:06:38,661
CHER: (SCREAMlNG)
We're on the freeway!

1186
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:39,912
What do l do, Murray?

1187
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:42,706
MURRAY: Just go straight!
Go straight! Go!

1188
01:06:42,791 --> 01:06:43,832
Oh, shit!

1189
01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:46,502
Just relax and drive, baby.
Just relax and drive.

1190
01:06:46,586 --> 01:06:48,045
-Okay.
-(CARS HONKlNG)

1191
01:06:48,129 --> 01:06:49,838
MURRAY: l'm here with you.

1192
01:06:51,091 --> 01:06:53,008
Shut up!

1193
01:06:54,052 --> 01:06:55,928
(ALL SCREAMlNG)

1194
01:07:00,100 --> 01:07:04,353
Whatever you do, keep your hands
on the wheel at all times!

1195
01:07:04,729 --> 01:07:06,230
-(SCREAMlNG)
-(TRUCK HONKlNG)

1196
01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:07,523
MURRAY: Oh, my God!

1197
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:12,152
Just go!

1198
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:16,990
-Turn to the right!
-Okay.

1199
01:07:17,283 --> 01:07:20,452
Oh, there it is. All right, we're off.

1200
01:07:20,662 --> 01:07:22,371
(DlONNE WHlMPERlNG)

1201
01:07:22,455 --> 01:07:23,831
You did wonderful.

1202
01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,125
-lt's all right, baby. Relax.
-You did it, De.

1203
01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:28,794
Honey, relax. Baby, relax.

1204
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:31,922
Breathe, breathe in.
Breathe and let it out.

1205
01:07:32,006 --> 01:07:34,675
Breathe, honey, breathe. Relax.

1206
01:07:35,218 --> 01:07:39,513
CHER: Boy, getting offthe freeway
makes you realize how important love is.

1207
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:43,976
After that, Dionne's virginity
went from "technical" to "nonexistent"

1208
01:07:44,144 --> 01:07:47,479
and I realized how much
I wanted a boyfriend of my own.

1209
01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:50,816
Not that Christian wasn't a blast
to hang out with,

1210
01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:53,861
he was becoming one of my favorite
shopping partners.

1211
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:55,654
The black one was, but so is the red.

1212
01:07:57,991 --> 01:07:59,074
Where's Tai?

1213
01:07:59,159 --> 01:08:01,243
She met some random guys
at the Foot Locker

1214
01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:03,245
and escorted them right over there.

1215
01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:04,747
Oh, my God, did you?

1216
01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:07,082
l don't know where she meets
these Barneys.

1217
01:08:07,167 --> 01:08:09,251
-l have a question, all right?
-What?

1218
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:13,255
The jacket, is it James Dean
or Jason Priestley?

1219
01:08:13,506 --> 01:08:16,383
Carpe diem, okay? You looked hot in it.

1220
01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:17,551
Really?

1221
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:19,762
-lf l fall...
-Don't worry.

1222
01:08:19,846 --> 01:08:21,138
-...would you guys catch me?
-Yeah!

1223
01:08:21,222 --> 01:08:23,098
Could they please be more generic?

1224
01:08:24,184 --> 01:08:25,267
(TAl SCREAMS)

1225
01:08:25,351 --> 01:08:27,603
Stop it! Please!

1226
01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:30,105
Put me back up! Please put me back!

1227
01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:35,277
Put me down!

1228
01:08:36,738 --> 01:08:37,863
Thank you.

1229
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,783
-You asshole!
-Hey, man, we're just joking.

1230
01:08:40,867 --> 01:08:43,452
Oh, really? Somebody could get killed.

1231
01:08:43,536 --> 01:08:45,496
-Oh, my God.
-lt's okay.

1232
01:08:45,580 --> 01:08:47,956
Cher, you don't understand,
l was sitting there

1233
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:50,459
and l was talking to those guys
and all of a sudden

1234
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:52,002
we were laughing and they were...

1235
01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,504
-Hey, you okay?
-Yeah.

1236
01:08:53,588 --> 01:08:55,214
-You sure?
-l'm fine. Uh-huh.

1237
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:59,134
-Let's get you home for some R and R.
-What's that?

1238
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:04,556
CHER: Boy, considering
how clueless she was

1239
01:09:04,641 --> 01:09:07,976
Tai certainly had
that damsel in distress act down.

1240
01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:12,147
Meanwhile, back at school,
everyone was talking about

1241
01:09:12,232 --> 01:09:14,441
Tai's brush with death at the mall.

1242
01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:16,944
Was it like a montage of all the scenes
in your life?

1243
01:09:17,070 --> 01:09:19,238
Not exactly a montage.

1244
01:09:19,322 --> 01:09:22,783
Cher, is it true some gang members
tried to shoot Tai in the mall?

1245
01:09:22,909 --> 01:09:23,951
No.

1246
01:09:24,077 --> 01:09:25,619
Well, that's what everyone is saying.

1247
01:09:25,745 --> 01:09:26,954
Whatever.

1248
01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:30,666
When l was 9, l fell off this jungle gym.

1249
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:33,252
That G-spot
that they talk about in Cosmo...

1250
01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:35,045
Wait, move down for Cher.

1251
01:09:35,129 --> 01:09:36,213
Hi.

1252
01:09:36,297 --> 01:09:37,673
Tell me more.

1253
01:09:37,757 --> 01:09:38,799
Where was l?

1254
01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:41,093
You were thinking
about what was really important.

1255
01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:42,302
Right.

1256
01:09:42,762 --> 01:09:47,140
Okay, right before you die,
your mind just sort of gets very clear.

1257
01:09:48,142 --> 01:09:50,352
lt's a very intense spiritual feeling...

1258
01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:52,688
l know when l was held at gunpoint...

1259
01:09:52,772 --> 01:09:54,648
-Excuse me. You were saying?
-lt's spiritual.

1260
01:09:54,774 --> 01:09:58,277
l don't know, l can't pinpoint
the spirituality of it for you,

1261
01:09:58,361 --> 01:10:00,320
if you've never experienced
anything quite...

1262
01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:03,866
Tai, l was planning on going to Tower
and getting something for Christian.

1263
01:10:03,950 --> 01:10:07,119
You know, like some kind of present
or something. You want to come?

1264
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,955
Sure. l mean, l owe him my life.

1265
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:11,206
So l'll get you after school.

1266
01:10:11,291 --> 01:10:15,210
Yeah. You know, not today,
l'm going over to Melrose with Amber.

1267
01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:17,004
We're going to Melrose.

1268
01:10:19,299 --> 01:10:20,591
How about tomorrow?

1269
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:22,426
Do you think
we could do it next Monday?

1270
01:10:22,510 --> 01:10:24,511
l mean my week's filling up
pretty fast here.

1271
01:10:25,138 --> 01:10:27,723
So when we got back from the lHOP
it was 8:00.

1272
01:10:27,807 --> 01:10:30,517
Oh, swoon. Here comes your boyfriend.

1273
01:10:31,519 --> 01:10:33,353
Hey, Tai, check it out.

1274
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,480
-(SPlTS)
-Ew!

1275
01:10:35,565 --> 01:10:37,357
Could you shove down a little bit?

1276
01:10:37,483 --> 01:10:38,525
No.

1277
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:42,362
Hello, don't the slackers
prefer that grassy knoll over there?

1278
01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:50,621
Tai.

1279
01:10:50,872 --> 01:10:52,331
-Well, so anyway...
-What?

1280
01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:53,874
Have you ever done it in water?

1281
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,375
-Oh, yeah.
-Really?

1282
01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:56,668
Does the sponge work in water?

1283
01:10:56,794 --> 01:10:58,295
CHER: What was happening?

1284
01:10:58,379 --> 01:11:01,298
Dionne asking Tai for sex advice?

1285
01:11:01,382 --> 01:11:04,384
Tai being the most popular girl
in school?

1286
01:11:05,053 --> 01:11:07,721
It was like some sort of
alternate universe.

1287
01:11:09,724 --> 01:11:13,560
On top of everything else,
I was going to take the driving test.

1288
01:11:14,145 --> 01:11:17,564
So I had to find
my most responsible-looking ensemble.

1289
01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:21,360
Where's my white collarless shirt
from Fred Segal?

1290
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:26,031
-Lucy, where's my shirt?
-Probably at the cleaner.

1291
01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:29,785
But today's the driving test.
lt's my most capable-looking outfit.

1292
01:11:29,869 --> 01:11:32,454
Okay, l call them.

1293
01:11:33,122 --> 01:11:34,456
lt's too late now.

1294
01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:36,792
We got another notice
from the fire department

1295
01:11:36,876 --> 01:11:38,460
saying we have to clear out the bush.

1296
01:11:38,544 --> 01:11:40,379
You said you were gonna get
José to do it.

1297
01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:42,631
He's your gardener,
why you don't tell him?

1298
01:11:42,715 --> 01:11:44,967
Lucy, you know l don't speak Mexican.

1299
01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:47,177
l not a Mexican!

1300
01:11:47,428 --> 01:11:50,389
-Great. What was that all about?
-Lucy's from El Salvador.

1301
01:11:50,890 --> 01:11:52,015
So?

1302
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:53,767
lt's an entirely different country.

1303
01:11:53,851 --> 01:11:55,185
What does that matter?

1304
01:11:55,269 --> 01:11:57,771
You get upset if someone thinks
you live below Sunset.

1305
01:11:57,855 --> 01:12:01,233
Okay. So everything is all my fault.
l'm always wrong, right?

1306
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:02,484
You're such a brat.

1307
01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:05,195
CHER: I had an overwhelming sense
of ickiness.

1308
01:12:05,279 --> 01:12:08,991
Even though I apologized to Lucy,
something was still plaguing me.

1309
01:12:10,702 --> 01:12:13,870
Like Josh thinking I was mean
was making me postal.

1310
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:15,414
Move into the right lane.

1311
01:12:15,832 --> 01:12:18,125
CHER: Anyway, why should I care
what Josh thinks?

1312
01:12:18,209 --> 01:12:20,794
Why was I letting it
throw me into such turmoil?

1313
01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:22,504
-Watch out for the bike rider!
-Hey!

1314
01:12:22,588 --> 01:12:24,548
Oops, my bad.

1315
01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:28,176
What are you doing?
You can't take up both lanes.

1316
01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:29,886
Get in the right lane.

1317
01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:31,680
Not so close!

1318
01:12:32,807 --> 01:12:34,516
Should l write them a note?

1319
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,061
Pull over up here
and turn off the engine.

1320
01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:40,564
Yeah, right there.

1321
01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:46,236
Are you gonna take me somewhere
to make left-hand turns?

1322
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:47,946
We're going back to the DMV.

1323
01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:50,240
-lt's over?
-lt's over.

1324
01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:52,951
-Well, how did l do?
-How'd you do?

1325
01:12:53,786 --> 01:12:56,079
(CHUCKLlNG) Well, let's see, shall we?

1326
01:12:56,706 --> 01:12:59,374
You can't park. You can't switch lanes.

1327
01:12:59,459 --> 01:13:02,544
You can't make right-hand turns.
You've damaged private property

1328
01:13:02,628 --> 01:13:03,879
and you almost killed someone.

1329
01:13:04,047 --> 01:13:06,548
Offhand, l'd say you failed.

1330
01:13:06,758 --> 01:13:08,050
Failed?

1331
01:13:08,593 --> 01:13:10,552
Well, can't we just start over?

1332
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:12,429
l'm kind of having a personal problem.

1333
01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,056
My mind was somewhere else.

1334
01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:16,767
You saw how that biker
came out of nowhere, right?

1335
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,561
l swear l'll concentrate.

1336
01:13:19,645 --> 01:13:21,563
l drive really good usually.

1337
01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:24,900
lsn't there somebody else l can talk to?
A supervisor or something?

1338
01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:29,071
You can't be the absolute and final word
in drivers' licenses.

1339
01:13:29,238 --> 01:13:33,742
Girlie, as far as you're concerned,
l am the messiah of the DMV.

1340
01:13:34,577 --> 01:13:36,411
Now get out of the car.

1341
01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:53,303
CHER: l can't believe l failed.

1342
01:13:53,471 --> 01:13:56,223
I failed something
I couldn't talk my way out of?

1343
01:13:57,016 --> 01:13:58,308
(LAUGHlNG)

1344
01:14:01,229 --> 01:14:04,022
JOSH: All right. Put your legs into me.
Thank you.

1345
01:14:04,107 --> 01:14:05,232
Okay.

1346
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:06,525
-Hey.
-Hey.

1347
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:09,027
-You're home.
-How does it feel to have a license?

1348
01:14:09,821 --> 01:14:11,196
l wouldn't know. l failed.

1349
01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:13,698
Oh. Bummer.

1350
01:14:13,783 --> 01:14:15,325
And, Josh, spare me your lectures

1351
01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:17,619
on how driving
is such a big responsibility

1352
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:19,663
you can't B.S. your way through it, okay?

1353
01:14:20,331 --> 01:14:21,623
l didn't say anything.

1354
01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:23,083
l know what you're thinking.

1355
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:32,592
l got to tell you something.

1356
01:14:32,677 --> 01:14:34,636
l'm really sorry about your test and all.

1357
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:35,971
l'm so glad you're here.

1358
01:14:36,055 --> 01:14:39,474
There's something l got to do and
l need you here with me while l do it.

1359
01:14:39,559 --> 01:14:41,309
-Does this thing work?
-Yeah. Sure.

1360
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:43,687
What is this stuff?

1361
01:14:43,771 --> 01:14:46,398
This is a bunch ofjunk
that reminded me of Elton.

1362
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:49,401
But l want to burn it
because l am so over him.

1363
01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:51,653
-Well, what stuff?
-All right.

1364
01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:54,531
Do you remember
when we were at the Val party

1365
01:14:54,615 --> 01:14:58,451
and the clog knocked me out
and Elton got a towel of ice to cure me?

1366
01:14:58,536 --> 01:14:59,661
Yeah.

1367
01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:05,000
l didn't tell you at the time,
but l took the towel home as a souvenir.

1368
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:07,627
-You're kidding.
-No.

1369
01:15:08,421 --> 01:15:12,007
And then, do you remember that song
that was playing when we danced?

1370
01:15:12,091 --> 01:15:15,010
Remember that?
You know, the Rolling with the Homies?

1371
01:15:16,304 --> 01:15:20,473
Anyways, l got the tape, right?
l listened to it like every single night.

1372
01:15:21,642 --> 01:15:23,059
Don't burn that. Okay.

1373
01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:27,564
Tai, l'm really happy for you

1374
01:15:27,648 --> 01:15:30,192
but what brought on
this surge of empowerment?

1375
01:15:30,443 --> 01:15:31,568
lt's like...

1376
01:15:31,819 --> 01:15:35,197
l met this guy
who's so totally amazing

1377
01:15:35,281 --> 01:15:37,282
that he makes Elton look like a loser.

1378
01:15:37,366 --> 01:15:38,783
That is so great.

1379
01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:42,287
Look, you've got to help me get Josh.

1380
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,456
Get Josh what?

1381
01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:46,541
You know what l mean.

1382
01:15:46,876 --> 01:15:48,001
l like him.

1383
01:15:48,336 --> 01:15:50,212
Do you think that he likes you?

1384
01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:51,379
Yeah.

1385
01:15:51,589 --> 01:15:52,714
How do you know?

1386
01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:55,926
Like little things, you know?

1387
01:15:56,010 --> 01:16:00,096
He always... He finds some sort of way
to touch me or tickle me.

1388
01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:03,433
Do you remember the time at the frat
when l was totally depressed

1389
01:16:03,517 --> 01:16:06,978
and he asked me to dance with him
and he was really flirty?

1390
01:16:08,731 --> 01:16:09,814
You okay?

1391
01:16:10,024 --> 01:16:11,191
Yeah.

1392
01:16:11,275 --> 01:16:14,694
Actually, l was really bad today.

1393
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:17,197
l had two mochaccinos.
l feel like ralphing.

1394
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,741
l know exactly how that feels.

1395
01:16:19,825 --> 01:16:23,370
Like, the other day,
l was talking to Josh

1396
01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:24,913
and we were discussing the difference

1397
01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:27,457
between high-school girls
and college girls.

1398
01:16:27,541 --> 01:16:30,418
College girls wear less makeup
on their face

1399
01:16:30,503 --> 01:16:32,170
and that's why guys like them more.

1400
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,048
But, Tai, do you really think
you'd be good with Josh?

1401
01:16:35,132 --> 01:16:37,592
l mean, he's like a school nerd.

1402
01:16:37,969 --> 01:16:41,596
What, am l some sort of
a mentally challenged airhead?

1403
01:16:41,931 --> 01:16:45,308
No, not even. l didn't say that.

1404
01:16:45,393 --> 01:16:47,978
What, l'm not good enough
for Josh or something?

1405
01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:51,606
l just don't think you'd

1406
01:16:52,149 --> 01:16:53,483
mesh well together.

1407
01:16:54,568 --> 01:16:58,029
You don't think that we mesh well?
(SCOFFS)

1408
01:16:58,114 --> 01:17:01,032
Why am l even listening
to you to begin with?

1409
01:17:01,534 --> 01:17:04,244
You're a virgin who can't drive.

1410
01:17:08,791 --> 01:17:10,750
That was way harsh, Tai.

1411
01:17:11,627 --> 01:17:14,129
All right. Look, l'm really sorry.

1412
01:17:15,589 --> 01:17:19,301
Let's just talk when we've mellowed,
all right? l'm Audi.

1413
01:17:23,806 --> 01:17:25,432
CHER: What did l do?

1414
01:17:25,516 --> 01:17:27,934
I've created some sort of a monster.

1415
01:17:28,269 --> 01:17:31,646
I could feel the chunks
start to rise up in my throat.

1416
01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:34,816
I had to get out.

1417
01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:48,580
Everything I think
and everything I do is wrong.

1418
01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:52,459
I was wrong about Elton,
I was wrong about Christian...

1419
01:17:52,543 --> 01:17:54,252
now Josh hated me.

1420
01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:57,589
It all boiled down
to one inevitable conclusion:

1421
01:17:57,882 --> 01:18:00,342
I was just totally clueless.

1422
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:03,887
Oh, and this Josh and Tai thing
was wigging me more than anything.

1423
01:18:03,971 --> 01:18:07,140
I mean, what was my problem?
Tai is my pal.

1424
01:18:07,308 --> 01:18:09,559
I don't begrudge her a boyfriend.
I really...

1425
01:18:09,643 --> 01:18:12,062
I wonder if they have that in my size.

1426
01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:17,275
What does she want with Josh anyway?

1427
01:18:17,401 --> 01:18:20,612
He dresses funny,
he listens to complaint rock...

1428
01:18:20,738 --> 01:18:24,282
he's not even cute
in a conventional way.

1429
01:18:25,868 --> 01:18:28,620
I mean, he's just like this slug

1430
01:18:28,746 --> 01:18:30,955
who hangs around the house
all the time.

1431
01:18:33,292 --> 01:18:35,543
And he's a hideous dancer.

1432
01:18:35,795 --> 01:18:37,879
Couldn't take him anywhere.

1433
01:18:38,047 --> 01:18:41,049
Wait a second,
what am I stressing about?

1434
01:18:41,133 --> 01:18:43,635
This is, like, Josh.

1435
01:18:47,223 --> 01:18:50,642
Okay, so he is kind of a Baldwin.

1436
01:18:50,810 --> 01:18:52,727
But what would he want with Tai?

1437
01:18:52,812 --> 01:18:54,562
She couldn't make him happy.

1438
01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:58,817
Josh needs someone with imagination,
someone to take care of him.

1439
01:18:59,235 --> 01:19:02,779
Someone to laugh at his jokes,
in case he ever makes any.

1440
01:19:03,614 --> 01:19:05,281
Then suddenly...

1441
01:19:06,325 --> 01:19:07,826
Oh, my God!

1442
01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:11,955
l love Josh.

1443
01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:17,669
CHER: l am majorly, totally,
butt crazy in love with Josh!

1444
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:20,922
But now I don't know
how to act around him.

1445
01:19:21,006 --> 01:19:24,092
Ordinarily, I'd strut around him
in my cutest little outfits

1446
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:26,761
and send myself flowers and candy

1447
01:19:27,304 --> 01:19:29,347
but I couldn't do that stuff with Josh.

1448
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:33,184
-What's with you?
-What do you mean?

1449
01:19:33,644 --> 01:19:34,769
You're so quiet.

1450
01:19:35,187 --> 01:19:37,355
Haven't made me watch
The Real World.

1451
01:19:37,690 --> 01:19:39,149
l care about the news.

1452
01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:41,109
-Since when?
-Since now.

1453
01:19:41,193 --> 01:19:44,612
...retaliation for recent government
successes in central Bosnia.

1454
01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:47,323
You look confused.

1455
01:19:48,451 --> 01:19:52,036
Well, l thought they declared peace
in the Middle East.

1456
01:20:02,298 --> 01:20:04,883
-Cher, get in here.
-What's up, Daddy?

1457
01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:07,218
What are you doing
dancing in front of my office?

1458
01:20:07,511 --> 01:20:11,139
Nothing. l just wanted to see
if you need any help with anything.

1459
01:20:11,474 --> 01:20:13,683
Yeah, you could help me
with something.

1460
01:20:14,351 --> 01:20:15,560
Come over here.

1461
01:20:18,147 --> 01:20:19,230
All right.

1462
01:20:20,191 --> 01:20:23,401
Every time that you see
a telephone conversation

1463
01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:27,530
that took place on September 3,
highlight it.

1464
01:20:27,698 --> 01:20:29,324
-Just September 3.
-Okay.

1465
01:20:33,496 --> 01:20:34,746
lt's fun?

1466
01:20:34,997 --> 01:20:36,164
Yeah.

1467
01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:38,708
Okay.

1468
01:20:40,586 --> 01:20:44,422
Daddy, did you ever have a problem
that you couldn't argue your way out of?

1469
01:20:44,548 --> 01:20:47,425
Tell me the problem
and we'll figure out how to argue it.

1470
01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:49,844
-l like this boy...
-Yes?

1471
01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,346
...and he likes someone else.

1472
01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:54,432
-How could that be?
-l don't know, but l feel wretched.

1473
01:20:54,558 --> 01:20:57,268
Obviously this boy is a complete moron.

1474
01:20:57,353 --> 01:21:00,522
You are the most beautiful girl
in Beverly Hills.

1475
01:21:01,524 --> 01:21:05,276
To tell you the truth, l'm not sure
l want you with a stupid fellow like that.

1476
01:21:05,778 --> 01:21:08,613
Actually he is a smart guy

1477
01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:11,366
and, you know,
he's one of those do-gooder types

1478
01:21:11,450 --> 01:21:15,119
and now l feel like all my after-school
commitments are just not good enough.

1479
01:21:15,246 --> 01:21:16,538
How can you say that?

1480
01:21:16,789 --> 01:21:19,040
Who takes care of everyone
in this household?

1481
01:21:19,208 --> 01:21:21,251
Who makes sure that Daddy eats right?

1482
01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:24,879
To tell you the truth,
l have not seen such good doing

1483
01:21:25,130 --> 01:21:26,381
since your mother.

1484
01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,884
-Really?
-Really.

1485
01:21:31,136 --> 01:21:32,470
Now get back to work.

1486
01:21:37,643 --> 01:21:41,229
CHER: Later, while we were learning
about the Pismo Beach disaster

1487
01:21:41,397 --> 01:21:44,065
I decided I needed
a complete makeover.

1488
01:21:44,441 --> 01:21:47,443
Except this time I'd make over my soul.

1489
01:21:47,653 --> 01:21:49,821
But what makes somebody
a better person?

1490
01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:54,284
And then I realized all my friends
were really good in different ways.

1491
01:21:54,410 --> 01:21:58,621
Like Christian, he always wants things
to be beautiful and interesting.

1492
01:21:58,998 --> 01:22:00,582
Or Dionne and Murray,

1493
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:04,335
when they think no one is watching,
are so considerate of each other.

1494
01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:06,671
And poor Miss Geist

1495
01:22:06,797 --> 01:22:10,091
always trying to get us involved,
no matter how much we resist.

1496
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:13,011
Oh, this is just...

1497
01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:17,432
That doesn't even show, every
single possession, every memory,

1498
01:22:17,516 --> 01:22:21,019
everything you've had your whole life,
gone in a second.

1499
01:22:21,103 --> 01:22:23,479
Can you imagine
what that must feel like?

1500
01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:26,274
-Elton?
-Can l use the pass?

1501
01:22:26,525 --> 01:22:27,609
Yeah.

1502
01:22:27,693 --> 01:22:31,195
We'll be collecting blankets,
disposable diapers,

1503
01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:32,697
canned goods.

1504
01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:33,865
Miss Geist?

1505
01:22:34,158 --> 01:22:36,200
-Cher?
-l want to help.

1506
01:22:37,328 --> 01:22:38,745
That would be wonderful.

1507
01:22:39,163 --> 01:22:40,747
CHER: l felt better already.

1508
01:22:44,585 --> 01:22:46,502
-Daddy?
-What?

1509
01:22:46,587 --> 01:22:49,589
You didn't like that red caviar, did you?

1510
01:22:49,757 --> 01:22:51,591
What's she talking about?

1511
01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:06,564
Cher, what are you doing?

1512
01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,318
l'm captain
of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.

1513
01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:12,153
l don't think they need your skis.

1514
01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:14,656
Daddy, some people lost
all their belongings.

1515
01:23:14,740 --> 01:23:17,408
Don't you think
that includes athletic equipment?

1516
01:23:18,410 --> 01:23:20,244
This is your influence, Josh?

1517
01:23:26,251 --> 01:23:28,044
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG)

1518
01:23:29,922 --> 01:23:31,339
(lNDlSTlNCT)

1519
01:23:39,223 --> 01:23:41,432
Hey, come here, sign up.

1520
01:23:41,809 --> 01:23:42,975
lt's gonna be really fun.

1521
01:23:45,104 --> 01:23:46,729
And these beans, it's so great.

1522
01:23:46,814 --> 01:23:48,356
-Shall l leave the blanket here?
-No.

1523
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:50,400
Could you please bring it to bedding?

1524
01:23:50,484 --> 01:23:52,443
-Sure.
-Yes, thank you very much.

1525
01:23:54,655 --> 01:23:57,740
Miss Geist, l need more boxes,
they're all filled up.

1526
01:23:57,825 --> 01:23:58,950
Already? Great!

1527
01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:01,911
l divided them into entrées
and appetizers.

1528
01:24:01,995 --> 01:24:05,331
Okay. l'll have them picked up.

1529
01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:06,582
Okay.

1530
01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:13,798
-Hey.
-Proper.

1531
01:24:13,924 --> 01:24:15,675
This is really decent of you, Travis.

1532
01:24:15,801 --> 01:24:16,968
Sure.

1533
01:24:18,262 --> 01:24:19,470
l wasn't sure about that.

1534
01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:23,015
l don't need it anymore, but far be it
from me to deny anyone else.

1535
01:24:23,142 --> 01:24:24,851
l wanted to tell you something.

1536
01:24:25,144 --> 01:24:27,145
-l'm sorry about your shoes.
-What shoes?

1537
01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:29,689
The red ones with the strappy thing.

1538
01:24:29,815 --> 01:24:33,109
Those are so last season.
What even made you think of them?

1539
01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:35,945
lt's one of my steps.
See, l joined this club

1540
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:38,614
and they have all these steps.
There's like...

1541
01:24:39,533 --> 01:24:40,616
Twelve?

1542
01:24:40,701 --> 01:24:42,368
Yeah, 1 2. How'd you know?

1543
01:24:42,870 --> 01:24:43,995
Wild guess.

1544
01:24:44,288 --> 01:24:47,665
Wow, that's a good guess. Also, here.

1545
01:24:48,834 --> 01:24:49,917
ASL?

1546
01:24:50,002 --> 01:24:51,627
Amateur Skateboarding League.

1547
01:24:51,712 --> 01:24:55,381
This clarity thing, it's brought me to
a whole new level and my skating is...

1548
01:24:55,507 --> 01:24:57,383
You got to see it.
Would you come Saturday?

1549
01:24:57,509 --> 01:24:58,551
Sure.

1550
01:24:58,677 --> 01:24:59,844
Cool.

1551
01:25:01,346 --> 01:25:04,307
Well, l guess, kitchenware?

1552
01:25:04,683 --> 01:25:06,184
That's where l used to keep it.

1553
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:10,438
(PUNK ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)

1554
01:25:22,367 --> 01:25:24,535
-Hi.
-Hi.

1555
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:26,871
Cher, can l talk to you a minute?

1556
01:25:27,331 --> 01:25:28,539
Sure.

1557
01:25:28,999 --> 01:25:31,250
l have been in agony the past week

1558
01:25:31,376 --> 01:25:33,836
and l can't even believe
that l went off the way l did.

1559
01:25:33,921 --> 01:25:36,380
No, l have been going down
a shame spiral.

1560
01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:39,926
l cannot even believe l was so
unsupportive of your feelings for Josh.

1561
01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:42,470
No, you are entitled to your own opinion,
all right?

1562
01:25:42,554 --> 01:25:43,971
l'm the tard here.

1563
01:25:44,056 --> 01:25:46,557
Cher, you've been nothing
but super-duper nice to me.

1564
01:25:46,683 --> 01:25:48,226
Not even. lf it wasn't for me

1565
01:25:48,352 --> 01:25:50,436
you wouldn't even have liked
that loser, Elton.

1566
01:25:50,896 --> 01:25:52,396
l'm so sorry, Tai.

1567
01:25:52,523 --> 01:25:54,524
Cher, l'm really sorry.

1568
01:25:54,608 --> 01:25:58,069
Oh, shit,
now l'm gonna go ahead and cry.

1569
01:25:58,195 --> 01:26:00,321
-Let's never fight again, okay?
-Oh, totally.

1570
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:04,075
ANNOUNCER: Next up, Number 14,
Travis Birkenstock.

1571
01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:10,414
CHER: There he is, he waved to you.

1572
01:26:25,848 --> 01:26:28,432
(WHOOPlNG) All right, Travis!

1573
01:26:32,062 --> 01:26:34,480
l had no idea he was so motivated.

1574
01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:36,607
Oh, l did.

1575
01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:40,570
CHER: When l saw the sparks
between Tai and Travis

1576
01:26:40,654 --> 01:26:42,947
I knew Josh was out of the picture.

1577
01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:54,792
You look like Pippi Longstocking.

1578
01:26:55,002 --> 01:26:56,961
You look like Forrest Gump.

1579
01:26:58,255 --> 01:26:59,797
Who's Pippi Longstocking?

1580
01:27:01,008 --> 01:27:02,842
Someone Mel Gibson never played.

1581
01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:04,135
You're funny.

1582
01:27:13,645 --> 01:27:15,646
What happened to the August 28 files?

1583
01:27:16,106 --> 01:27:17,064
Hmm? What?

1584
01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:19,650
Mel wanted them tonight.
There were twice as many.

1585
01:27:20,319 --> 01:27:22,486
He's gonna go ballistic.
Where are they?

1586
01:27:23,113 --> 01:27:26,324
l think l checked them
for the September 3 conversations.

1587
01:27:26,450 --> 01:27:28,492
-What?
-Where'd you put them?

1588
01:27:28,619 --> 01:27:30,494
l divided them into two piles.

1589
01:27:30,621 --> 01:27:31,662
ls that wrong?

1590
01:27:31,788 --> 01:27:34,790
My God! l have to redo all that.
What are you, some kind of idiot?

1591
01:27:34,875 --> 01:27:36,167
Hey, she didn't know.

1592
01:27:36,293 --> 01:27:37,543
She just set us back a day.

1593
01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:40,504
Who cares about the September call?
Now we're screwed.

1594
01:27:40,881 --> 01:27:42,006
l'm sorry.

1595
01:27:42,132 --> 01:27:43,674
Just forget it, okay?

1596
01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:46,010
Just go back to the mall or something.

1597
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,765
What's your problem, man?
She didn't mean any harm.

1598
01:27:50,849 --> 01:27:52,516
l'm gonna get killed,
'cause she's a moron.

1599
01:27:52,643 --> 01:27:53,809
She's not a moron.

1600
01:27:53,894 --> 01:27:56,437
lf you were paying attention,
it wouldn't have happened.

1601
01:27:56,521 --> 01:27:58,981
lf you hadn't been playing footsie
with the dumb kid

1602
01:27:59,066 --> 01:28:00,107
she wouldn't be bothering.

1603
01:28:00,192 --> 01:28:01,692
What the hell are you talking about?

1604
01:28:01,818 --> 01:28:03,527
You know exactly what l'm talking about.

1605
01:28:03,654 --> 01:28:06,822
This is a multi-million dollar lawsuit,
not some excuse for puppy love.

1606
01:28:06,907 --> 01:28:08,908
We've been working our butts off
on this case.

1607
01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:10,034
l'll tell you what,

1608
01:28:10,160 --> 01:28:13,204
you do whatever you want
with your butts. l'm calling in sick.

1609
01:28:19,670 --> 01:28:21,879
Did l really ruin Daddy's lawsuit?

1610
01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:23,756
No.

1611
01:28:27,219 --> 01:28:28,552
Of course not.

1612
01:28:29,221 --> 01:28:31,222
Did l set him back?

1613
01:28:31,348 --> 01:28:34,767
There's so much work to be done
and he can't afford to lose that time.

1614
01:28:34,893 --> 01:28:37,061
Don't worry about it. l'll take care of it.

1615
01:28:37,437 --> 01:28:39,230
Your father won't lose any time.

1616
01:28:41,191 --> 01:28:43,234
Can you imagine the nerve of that guy?

1617
01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:45,861
l mean, making you worry like that.

1618
01:28:47,030 --> 01:28:50,950
He's the one that screwed up,
and then he goes and blames us.

1619
01:28:51,076 --> 01:28:53,953
l mean, imagine saying we were...

1620
01:28:55,247 --> 01:28:56,372
you know.

1621
01:28:56,748 --> 01:28:59,917
That's right.
You've been very dedicated to this case.

1622
01:29:00,585 --> 01:29:04,255
Yeah, it was a good
learning experience, at least for me.

1623
01:29:04,381 --> 01:29:05,756
l want to be a lawyer.

1624
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:09,593
But you, l mean,
you don't need to be doing this.

1625
01:29:10,387 --> 01:29:13,222
Go out and have fun. Go shopping.

1626
01:29:15,392 --> 01:29:18,561
You think that's all l do?
l'm just a ditz with a credit card?

1627
01:29:18,812 --> 01:29:22,398
No, that's not what l meant.

1628
01:29:22,941 --> 01:29:24,400
lt's...

1629
01:29:25,318 --> 01:29:26,944
(STUTTERlNG)

1630
01:29:28,822 --> 01:29:32,450
You're young and beautiful

1631
01:29:33,285 --> 01:29:34,410
and...

1632
01:29:34,995 --> 01:29:36,120
And?

1633
01:29:37,456 --> 01:29:40,499
And, well, what?

1634
01:29:41,793 --> 01:29:43,294
You think l'm beautiful?

1635
01:29:46,131 --> 01:29:47,298
You know...

1636
01:29:48,175 --> 01:29:50,301
You know you're gorgeous, all right?

1637
01:29:50,427 --> 01:29:52,470
And popular and...

1638
01:29:55,348 --> 01:29:58,184
But this is not why l, you know,
l come here.

1639
01:29:58,310 --> 01:30:00,811
This is a good learning experience
for me.

1640
01:30:02,189 --> 01:30:03,481
You already said that.

1641
01:30:04,649 --> 01:30:06,859
Mel. l want to help out Mel.

1642
01:30:07,527 --> 01:30:09,987
He's the only one who cares about me.

1643
01:30:10,530 --> 01:30:11,989
That's not true.

1644
01:30:12,783 --> 01:30:13,991
He's not?

1645
01:30:15,118 --> 01:30:16,202
No.

1646
01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:20,831
Are you saying you care about me?

1647
01:30:21,792 --> 01:30:23,000
Josh...

1648
01:30:39,851 --> 01:30:42,520
CHER: Well, you can guess
what happened next.

1649
01:30:42,646 --> 01:30:43,771
MlNlSTER: Therefore...

1650
01:30:43,855 --> 01:30:46,732
CHER: As if! l am only 16...

1651
01:30:46,858 --> 01:30:48,818
and this is California not Kentucky!

1652
01:30:48,902 --> 01:30:50,402
You may kiss the bride.

1653
01:31:06,253 --> 01:31:08,003
(lNDlSTlNCT)

1654
01:31:12,676 --> 01:31:15,219
l know that when l have
my own wedding,

1655
01:31:15,345 --> 01:31:18,222
l want this, like,
this whole entire floral motif,

1656
01:31:18,348 --> 01:31:20,224
like very floral garlands...

1657
01:31:20,350 --> 01:31:23,394
No. When l get married,
l'm gonna have a sailor dress

1658
01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:24,687
but it's gonna be a gown.

1659
01:31:24,771 --> 01:31:26,814
All my bridesmaids are gonna wear
sailor hats.

1660
01:31:26,898 --> 01:31:28,274
-That sounds so cool.
-With veils.

1661
01:31:28,400 --> 01:31:30,317
My God, they're planning
our weddings already.

1662
01:31:30,402 --> 01:31:33,279
Could you all stop all that
"till death do us part" mumbo-jumbo?

1663
01:31:33,405 --> 01:31:37,074
-l'm telling you, l'm completely bugging.
-Jeez, l'm bugging myself.

1664
01:31:37,701 --> 01:31:41,120
Girls, she's about to throw the bouquet.
Come on!

1665
01:31:42,747 --> 01:31:45,291
We got a pool going
to see whose girl gets the bouquet.

1666
01:31:45,417 --> 01:31:46,876
lt's up to $200.

1667
01:31:47,419 --> 01:31:48,919
lt's in the bag.

1668
01:31:50,422 --> 01:31:52,590
All right, come on, girls.

1669
01:31:53,550 --> 01:31:55,593
Over here!

1670
01:31:55,677 --> 01:31:56,927
(GlRLS CLAMORlNG)

1671
01:31:57,053 --> 01:31:59,138
(POP MUSlC PLAYlNG)

1672
01:32:11,943 --> 01:32:13,277
l got it!

1673
01:33:49,165 --> 01:33:51,542
(PUNK ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)